Thursday, February 23, 2006

Ask a Mexican

Gustavo Arellano is a columnist for “Ask a Mexican" in the OC Weekly

Why are all the ingenious ideas already taken? I would LOVE to start an "Ask a Chink" column but then folks would discover I'm not being original. Dammit. It looks like so much fun -- Readers would ask Arellano some really fucked up but funny questions about Mexicans and Mexican culture, and he responds in a flippant yet endearing way.

Check out these examples:

Dear Mexican,

What's with the Mexican need to display the Virgin of Guadalupe everywhere? I've seen her in the oddest places, from a sweatshirt to a windshield sticker.

Dear Pocha,

I've seen her painted on murals, woven into fabulous silk shirts worn by Stetson-sporting hombres and — one holy night — in my bowl of guacamole.

Mexican Catholicism is sublime precisely because it doesn't draw a distinction between the sacred and the profane. We can display our saints as comfortably in a cathedral as we do on hubcaps.

Dear Mexican,

Why do you always see Mexicans lying in the grass under a tree…. ¿Por qué?

Dear Pocha,

Mexicans are good public citizens who know that parkland is best used for whittling the afternoon away underneath an oak, a salsa-stained paper plate and an empty six-pack of Tecate tossed to the side.

Dear Mexican,

As an Asian person, would I be considered a gabacho? Or do I fall into the yellow bucket labeled chinito, even though I'm not Chinese?

Dear Chino,

Like Americans assume all Latinos are Mexican, Mexicans think all Asians are chinos — Chinese. When I used to go out with a Vietnamese woman, my aunts would speak highly of mi chinita bonita — my cute little Chinese ruca….

This Mexican is fucken hilarious. I won't bite off of him, but if you have any questions for a Chink, please feel free to ask.

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