How to Tell If a Woman Really Loves You

Don't you love it when you search the web for one thing, and then find something else totally weird and random?

HOW TO TELL IF A WOMAN REALLY LOVES YOU

She has eyes only for you. You can tell if your woman really loves you when many hunky and sexy men surround you but she doesn't take a second to even look at any of them. She gives you her full attention by showing eye contact, smiling and facing her body towards you.

She answers your calls. You know if a woman is interested when she answers your calls every time. It is a wonderful sign if she also answers the phone by the second ring. You may find yourself spending hours on the phone talking and giggling with her about life.

She agrees to meet with you every time you ask her out. She wouldn't love you if she didn't want to see you as much as you want to see her.

She wants to go places and do things. She is not ashamed to be out in public with you. She wants to explore the world with you and do fun activities. For example, going to the movies, out to dinner, to a concert or amusement park.

She does things for you. She invests energy in pleasing and making you feels happy. For example, she will bake you cookies, invite you over for dinner or offers to rub your back.

She flirts with you. You can tell if she loves you when she constantly laughs at everything you say, touches you frequently and gives you that special look of love.

She wants to date only you. You know she is serious about you when she has verbally asked if dating each other can be exclusive. You are number one to her and all the other men in the world mean nothing.

She tells you "I love you." You can't get more straightforward than this. When she tells you those three special words she wants to take the relationship a little farther and get more serious.

SORRY, BUT WHOEVER WROTE THIS IS A DOUCHE BAG.

Yummy or yucky?

Krispy Kreme Fried Chicken Sandwich

Find it at the Los Angeles County Fair in Pomona

Alien baby revealed

Jodie Foster quotes Eminem

There’s just something awfullly painful about a grown white woman rapping Eminem songs at a graduation ceremony, even if that woman is as awesome as Jodie Foster. Check it out. Warning: You will cringe and this may result in temporary neck pains...

Acid trip

I think the old man is scarier than the giant Pooh characters...

Biggest Bitch from the East

The tallest woman in Asia, Chinese Yao Defen, and her friend sit at the entrance of her home in Shu Cha in eastern China's Anhui province March 15, 2006. Yao is 34 years old and 2.36 metres tall.

Thanks for the forward, Blu-tooth. I like how you take pride in your peeps, big or small, marginal or mutant.

Awesome... but how much?

The RI-MAN is a seeing, hearing and smelling robot that can carry human beings and is aimed at helping care for the country's growing number of elderly.

This is great and all, but as you can see in the post below, human labor is probably cheaper. Not that you could hire a doula to care for the elderly, but you could easily find a Chinese lady who would cook, clean and provide medical care for your aging and debilitating loved one in exchange for a few dollars and unlimited access to Chinese soap operas.

I wish I worked on this wage claim

The State Labor Commissioner ordered to shut down Neverland Valley Ranch and fine Michael Jackson $169,000 for failing to pay his employees or maintain proper insurance.

Dude, Neverland is fucken trippy. Check out this Neverland website I found... I believe it was made by a fan. In fact, there are many Neverland websites on-line, made by a number of fans. You know, it's these obsessed fans who allowed their kids play with:

Casper, is that you?

Queen Mary, port side, Long Beach, CA

Two of the world's most famous ocean liners will meet for the first time Thursday in the Port of Long Beach in an event expected to draw hundreds of former passengers, ship buffs and other curious onlookers.

Today's LA Times features an article about how the Queen Mary 2, the world's largest passenger ship, is scheduled to pull near its namesake, the retired 1936-vintage Queen Mary, now a hotel and museum at the port.

This reminds me immediately of my recent overnight stay at the vintage (and reputably haunted) Queen Mary when BF's friend hosted a wedding party there... and when I saw a ghost.

I can't ascertain for a fact if what I saw was truly a ghost, but I will speak the facts and you can decide for yourself.

After being in traffic for what seemed like two hours before we arrive at Long Beach, I needed to pee so bad. I step onto the Queen Mary and practically run for the bathroom which, by the way, was located at the end of a very long and eerie hallway. I quickly step inside and into a stall... while a woman inside another stall is humming. I don't think much of it because I am so focused on peeing.

But real soon I start to think it's odd she keeps humming, even though she knows I'm there... and that she hums the same several chords... over and over and over again. Then I realize, Fuck... I'm on the Queen Mary, this shit is haunted! Still peeing, I bend over from my position in the stall and look under... two stalls to my right, I see a pair of adult-size feet, dangling from the toliet... without socks or shoes. In fact, the lady or ghost is slowly putting on her socks and shoes... and still humming! The same few chords!

So at this point, I totally freak out. I begin having images that the humming will stop, and the lady/ghost will be in front of my face.

I make myself stop peeing, and run out of the bathroom... I don't even wash my hands! The funny thing is, before I leave the bathroom, I quickly turn the faucet on and then off so that the lady/ghost doesn't realize I just pee-ed without washing my hands!

Another Jesus Christ Superstar

I like Kanye West for many reasons -- he has phenomenal producing skills, he has good racial politics, and he's from Chi-town. Enough said, bitches.

But I hate it when a rapper takes on the persona of Christ. Nas was at his low when he did it, and this is just another recreation of that, so it's not even like Kanye is original about it.

Does a rapper who takes on the Christ persona really think he suffered so? Or that he's a messenger of God? Or our savior? I guess I just don't get it. Sorry, but it looks sorta stupid.

I hope this was Rolling Stone's idea, and not Kanye's, who I would still like to think is original and innovative. But you know, if Rolling Stones paid me good money, I too might prance around with a plastic crown of thorns and a tattered robe.

Brand New Muslim Barbie

Mattel should have a Miss Barbie Universe Contest... but then this doll couldn't compete in the swimsuit competition.






At least Muslim Barbie looks modest and (a little) more true to form... Chinese Barbie looks like an Orange County white girl dressed as a geisha for Halloween.








Dragon Lady Edition

Fuck you, Mattel. Fuck you.

Sunday Sundries

I first thought the funniest thing I was gonna read today was this ice sculpture of a sitting Buddah at the Grand Ice and Snow World in Harbin City, China. I'm not sure why I find this picture hilarious, but I do.

I soon learn I am so wrong. Almost back to back, I find articles that get even weirder and more peculiarly spiteful. In New Mexico, this dude catches a mouse in his house (hey, I rhyme!) and tosses it into a burning pile of leaves. An ablaze Mickey runs back in the house and burns the shit down!! The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire!!

Then in Montana, this cow escapes a slaughterhouse, dodges vehicles, runs in front of a train, braves the icy Missouri River and takes three tranquilizer darts before being recaptured six hours later. Sounds like a typical day at the border...

Finally, the last story is from Canada... so it's not that great. Nevertheless, it's about some vengeful man who apparently has no life. As a dissatisfied credit card holder, he decides to make dozens of tiny payments a day via the bank's online payment system, jamming its computers. What kind of stupid Canuck shit is this? Regardless, I find a CNN site that reports on offbeat news. A handy website of quirky treasures, consolidated by a reputable source like CNN (note sarcasm on latter part of sentence). Goody. I watch a video stream named How to get back at annoyances that I find quite appealing. It's about getting back at strangers that annoy the shit out of you. Interesting thing is that I conjured up at least half of those retaliatory acts back in the day when I used to be a hoodlum. Straight up. Unfortunately, I do not know how to connect the video to this blog, but I have an appointment with WMD next week to decipher such programming dilemmas.