People from Wasilla scare me

Lady Simzie says she's so over Palin. Like an old, wet newspaper. Not me. I'm still amused.

Palin is a wonderful public servant. In this video, she teaches us not to worry about "heavy-handed politics" and criticism as long as we have fun. Keep it real, sister.

Description and video, courtesy of the Huffington Post:

On Thursday, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin appeared in Wasilla in order to pardon a local turkey in anticipation of Thanksgiving. This proved to be a slightly absurd but ultimately unremarkable event. But what came next was positively surreal. After the pardon Palin proceeded to do an interview with a local TV station while the turkeys were being SLAUGHTERED in the background!! Seemingly oblivious to the gruesomeness going on over her shoulder, she carries on talking for over three minutes. Watch the video below to see for yourself. Be warned, it's kind of gruesome.

Ching Chonging Pandas

So it's common knowledge that the "best" commercials are premiered during the Superbowl. I watched some, they were okay. I missed this one though. Too bad, it could have been my all time favorite... I mean, who doesn't like pandas with thick Chinese accents? I wish I had a thick Chinese accent. To my disappointment, it was poorly received by viewers and the sponsor for the commercial apologized and promised to stop running them.

Touch me to watch video.

How to Tell If a Woman Really Loves You

Don't you love it when you search the web for one thing, and then find something else totally weird and random?

HOW TO TELL IF A WOMAN REALLY LOVES YOU

She has eyes only for you. You can tell if your woman really loves you when many hunky and sexy men surround you but she doesn't take a second to even look at any of them. She gives you her full attention by showing eye contact, smiling and facing her body towards you.

She answers your calls. You know if a woman is interested when she answers your calls every time. It is a wonderful sign if she also answers the phone by the second ring. You may find yourself spending hours on the phone talking and giggling with her about life.

She agrees to meet with you every time you ask her out. She wouldn't love you if she didn't want to see you as much as you want to see her.

She wants to go places and do things. She is not ashamed to be out in public with you. She wants to explore the world with you and do fun activities. For example, going to the movies, out to dinner, to a concert or amusement park.

She does things for you. She invests energy in pleasing and making you feels happy. For example, she will bake you cookies, invite you over for dinner or offers to rub your back.

She flirts with you. You can tell if she loves you when she constantly laughs at everything you say, touches you frequently and gives you that special look of love.

She wants to date only you. You know she is serious about you when she has verbally asked if dating each other can be exclusive. You are number one to her and all the other men in the world mean nothing.

She tells you "I love you." You can't get more straightforward than this. When she tells you those three special words she wants to take the relationship a little farther and get more serious.

SORRY, BUT WHOEVER WROTE THIS IS A DOUCHE BAG.

Once again...

Sexism is ignored and subordinated to racism.

As I'm sure you all know, shock jock Don Imus is busted by the public for calling members of the Rutgers women's basketball team "some nappy-headed hos."

The National Association of Black Journalists has demanded the immediate firing of the "Imus in the Morning" host. On Monday, the Rev. Jesse Jackson led a 50 person protest in Chicago outside of NBC's offices demanding his dismissal. Al Sharpton denounced the comment on his syndicated radio show as "racist" and "abominable," adding: "You should be fired for saying it."

I even overheard the women on THE VIEW talk about it while I was doing my taxes at my sister's house. They spoke about how such racial remarks can really affect each of the player's self-image. After all, they're just students.

As a double minority, I am proud when a community of color stands in solidarity against racial slurs and stereotypes, and demands accountability. I love it actually. But time and time again, and particularly in this situation, I am disappointed with that same community of color, as well as the feminist community, for hardly addressing the disparaging sexist comment made in the same breath. In fact, Imus' executive producer, Bernard McGuirk, called the team "some hard-core hos" before Imus made his stupid comment. Yet no one is asking McGuirk to resign. Believe me, if Imus never added the "nappy-headed" and just called the players "hos", there would be no news. Imus would still be on the air today, feeling secure and happy about his job and making misogynist remarks, without anyone feeling offended.

Disturbing or Endearing... you decide!

"The strangest thing I've tried to snort? My father. I snorted my father," said Keith Richards, the 63 year old Rolling Stones guitarist who was was quoted in comments published by British music magazine NME on Tuesday.

"He was cremated and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn't have cared," he said. "... It went down pretty well, and I'm still alive."

Why I Love Blacks

Dude, I was near USC tonight and saw that Inferno Affairs is playing at the Magic Johnson Theaters for late Friday and Saturday shows. This is why I love black people... because they appreciate Hong Kong gangster movies. And kung fu movies. And shrimp fried rice.

I say this in light of a recent opinion piece written by Kenneth Eng in Asian Week entitled, "Why I Hate Blacks."

It's pretty awful. But I'm more stunned and dismayed that Asian Week, a fairly political and (once) respected Asian American publication in the Bay Area, actually permitted the publication of Eng's piece. Sure, Asian Week issued an apology. But I think it's too late. Asian Week is fucked.

Teacher, pick me!

When cultural appreciation goes terribly wrong...

Instead of war or global warming...

It's butt-fucking that's destroying our civilization. That's how the Roman Empire fell, you know. Just ask the Orville Redenbacher impersonator below. I'm sure he's filled with knowledge and insight.

This man and his sign can be found in Houston, Texas.
Thanks to Tonk who captured this scene with his camera phone.

Enjoy the Food, Skip the Rudeness

Markus found this ad in the OC Weekly.
This, among many many reasons, is why Orange County sucks.

Thanks, Mr. M, for finding such seemingly innocuous yet super racially-derogative shit about my people. You're cool like that.

Chinese Chipmunks in Da Club in Alhambra.
Happy Birthday!

Local news

So the Asian American community is in an uproar over this one lame writer, Jed Levine, for the Daily Bruin, the official college newspaper for UCLA. As any white man who inexplicably fears losing power and control, he calls himself an underrepresented minority on campus, and empathizes with members of the Black Student Union and MEChA stating, "it's hard to find other white people I can identify with on a campus that feels more like Taipei than L.A."

Perhaps Jed is just trying to be clever or facetious? You decide for yourself. However, if that was his intention, I think he failed miserably. But then again, he's just a student writer for a shitty college paper, so I don't even really care.

I mean, it's not like he's LA Times writer Joel Stein, who was able to humorously call out our own human hypocrisy, but still hold the Bush Administration responsible for the Iraq War and torture of prisoners. Now Joel is a good writer. Jed is just a dumb college kid.

Jed would have received accolades, rather than hate letters, if he were able to say, look, Asian students do out-number other students of color at UCLA and other public universities, and that the proportion of Asian students far exceed the proportion of Asians residing in the state. This is proof that something in the system is flawed for other students. But let's not blame Asian students for the campus feeling like Taipei. Let's criticize the current admissions policies that limit admissions to only grades and test scores.

Because the truth is, as we all know, when the racist Regents of the UC System decided to strictly interpret Prop. 209 and ostensibly implement "non-race based factors" for admissions, they were hoping to reduce admissions of ALL students of color, including Asians. But they erred in their plan of whitening the UC campuses. That's on them. Asians shouldn't be blamed for just showing up and acing the exams. We can't help it if we're fucken brilliant. We're just being who we are.

Dumpster diving, anyone?

I enjoy collecting unwanted (hence, free) furniture from the street. I have accumulated quite an impressive collection of items that I am very proud of. I truly believe someone's trash is someone else's treasure. In my case, I'm like a pirate and the streets are like ships... and I'm all about the booty.

My beloved family, however, loves teasing me about my hobby, among other things... so when my brother-in-law informed me of a recent corporate memo distributed to laid-off Northwest Airlines employees about suggestions for saving money, we were delighted to see that dumpster diving was Tip #46!

In a remarkable bit of corporate insensitivity, Northwest Airlines gave workers a booklet offering "101 Ways to Save Money," including "don't be shy about pulling something you like out of the trash" and "ask your doctor for samples of prescriptions." The booklet was included in a layoff packet recently given to dozens of pink-slipped workers in North Dakota, Montana, and Texas. Along with the dumpster diving suggestion, Northwest recommended shorter showers, thrift store shopping, and getting "hand-me-down clothes and toys for your kids from friends and relatives." Not to mention "grow your own vegetables and herbs" and "use old newspapers for cat litter."After employee complaints, Northwest apologized and yanked the list from undistributed packets.

So tasteless, yet so funny (at least to me...).

Girls Gone... Good?

Good news for the morning! "Girls Gone Wild" Creator, Joe Francis, plead guilty to two felony counts of violating federal record-keeping laws by failing to document the ages of young women in his infamous videos. In other words, he's busted for videotaping underage girls doing naughty, naughty things.

The judge imposed a $500,000 fine. When the judge asked Francis if he understood that, given the felonies he was admitting to, he could be sentenced to as many as 10 years in prison, he seemed surprised. "Um, I don't understand that," he said.

I guess that's why he got BUSTED! Such a dumb ass!

Sad moment in hip hop history

Kevin Federline aka K-Fed debuted his latest hip hop single at the Teen Choice Awards this past week. I tried watching the performance but I couldn't even finish it. It was that bad. You could see for yourself but you might not want to waste precious internet time. No one warned me, and I wish someone would have.

I don't know who to feel worse for... Britney or the rest of us who watched her lame ass husband perform.

African Americans need to reclaim hip hop asap!

Another concerned superstar

Lindsay Lohan says she wants to go to Iraq with Hillary Rodham Clinton to throw a concert for the troops.

"I've been trying to go to Iraq with Hillary Clinton for so long," Lohan, 20, tells Elle magazine in its September issue. "I wanted to do what Marilyn Monroe did (during the Korean War), when she went and just set up a stage and did a concert for the troops all by herself. It's so amazing seeing that one woman just going somewhere, this beautiful sex kitten, who's basically a pinup, which is what I've always aspired to be." Even without Sen. Clinton, Lohan is confident she can handle an Iraq trip on her own. "I'm not afraid of going," she says. "My security guard is going to take me to a gun range when I get back to L.A., and I'm going to start taking shooting lessons."

Damn, bitch, you want to shoot some Iraqis? Not much of a kitten, are you? Meow.

This is why Madonna grosses me out sometimes

Seizing the heightened spotlight of her performance in Rome on Sunday - on the heels of being criticized by the Pope - Madonna chose to shine the light on peace in the Middle East.

Another dumb presidential move

The White House announced today that they plan to deploy 6000 National Guard troops along the US/Mexico border to deter illegal immigration, even though Bush still claims to support a guest work program and a path of legalization for undocumented immigrants currently residing in the US.

Members of both parties have expressed concern about a National Guard deployment to the border, saying that it might strain military resources already depleted by the Iraq war and that it appears to be politically motivated.

Well, of course.

This reminds me of how WRONG some Bush proponents have been about how Bush may not be bright, but he is a man who stands by his word. Well, explain why Bush purports to support immigrants, yet he makes this move to pander to anti-immigrant Republicans... seems like some flip-flopping to me...

Here is a SNL video of what could have been if Bush was not elected in 2000... (thanks KimCheeFarmer!)

The religious right to hate

Ruth Malhotra says her Christian faith compels her to speak out against homosexuality. But the Georgia Institute of Technology, where she's a senior, bans speech that puts down others because of their sexual orientation. So she's suing the school for its "infringement" on her right to religious expression.

A growing campaign has begun to force public institutions to eliminate policies protecting gays and lesbians from harassment. The religious right aims to overturn a broad range of common tolerance programs: diversity training that promotes acceptance of gays and lesbians, speech codes that ban harsh words against homosexuality, anti-discrimination policies.

Ruth, what happen to love thy neighbor? You know, you're going to burn in hell for this. You can't avoid judgment day...

Oops, he did it again!

While everyone is talking about and preoccupied with Daniel Edward's sculpture of Britney Spears giving birth to Sean Preston, I am much more amused by K-Fed's latest hip hop album, Playing With Fire, expected to drop in August.

Here are some sweet lyrics from his last album:

I know y'all wishin' you was in my position
Cause I keep gettin' into situations
That you wish you was in, cousin
I'm not your brother, I'm not your uncle, I'm Daddy do

K-Fed, you are fuckin brilliant.

Oops, she did it again!

Wow - that would be one quick turnaround.

Baby Sean Preston was born in Sptember of 2005 and isn't even six months old yet.

"I'm not a role model..."

Girl, you go with your bad ass white trash self!

A bit too much school spirit?

A cheerleader who continued to cheer for her team from a gurney despite tumbling 15 feet onto her head said she was worried the accident would distract from the basketball game. Poor girl is pictured here still giving spirit fingers!

"My biggest concern was that I didn't want my squad to be distracted — so that they could continue cheering on the team — and I didn't want my team to be distracted from winning the game," Kristi Yamaoka, 18, told NBC's "Today" show, despite suffering a concussion, a spinal fracture and a bruised lung when she lost her balance atop a human pyramid.

It must be that Asian guilt in her who can't disappoint anyone. Well, Kristi, you continue to represent! I am proud of you even though I think you're a tool.