Pink Eye = WMDs

Yes, it is true. I have been slowly assembling an army of cybersoldiers in preparation for robot uprisings and armageddon in general. However, now that I have been demobilized by pink eye, I now believe I should assemble a guerrilla group of bio-terrorist combatants also. I would recruit my two nephews, who transferred the highly contagious virus to me by coughing indiscriminately in my food and my face, all the while staying cute and lovable, disarming me and my better judgment to maintain some distance away from their bio toxic germs. I can't believe I allowed those little fuckers to get me.

Since I am not as cute and lovable as my nephews, my friends are not as disarmed and have maintained their better judgment. Even though I promised not to cough into anyone's food or face, a couple of us made the right decision for me to leave a baby shower early and quarantine myself so I don't spread the infectious disease to the expecting mother and unborn child. In fact, there was another pregnant friend on the scene so I finally left because I couldn't bear the responsibility of something later going terribly wrong. It's not like you can deny spreading pink eye at a party when you're the only one with discharge oozing out of your eye sockets. Thank god I had my sunglasses on. Although no one could tell, I started feeling paranoid. I was reminded of a Bloodhound Gang episode (from 321 Contact) about pink eye. The story was about this school cafeteria employee who had contracted pink eye, yet neglected to wash her hands before she prepared sandwiches, causing a number of teenagers to become ill. She wore sunglasses the whole time to cover her itchy, irritated red eye. But the Bloodhound Gang found her habit of wearing sunglasses indoors, in a dark cafeteria, to be a bit odd. I don't remember exactly how the Bloodhound Gang busted her, but I do remember the moral of the story is to wash your hands frequently... and to never contract pink eye.

Twenty-five years later after watching such an important and informative show, it is clear I have not learned from my childhood lessons. Or perhaps bio-terrorists (ie. children) are far more powerful and deadlier than they were when I was growing up? All I know is that none of my peers growing up ever had pink eye or lice or mono or peanut allergies. But now I have one of the four. OMG. I need to assemble a guerrilla army as soon as possible! In the meantime, I will be an army of one and follow what this guy does.

Children say the darnest things

I heard some great one-liners this past weekend.

I attempted to engage in a conversation about Barack Obama with my 6 and 4 years old nephews. If Auntie loves Obama, the nephews surely will also.

So I described to them how Sasha and Malia are going to get a new dog when they move to the White House.

Christopher announces, "I want to get a new dog. But we have to wait for these (points to dogs Gabby and Sally) to die first."

Nice. Good to know he's a honest little fucker.

I offered to eat the dogs but the boys then shrieked like little girls. Little tortured girls. It didn't sound good.

Then while we started to over-decorate the tree...


...and were looking for hooks to clip the ornaments...


... Elliot announces, "I NEED A HOOKER!"

Awesome. Good to know he's a degenerate like Auntie.

And finally, Christopher makes a racial remark. It's kind of funny so it's okay. Plus, he's just a child. He doesn't know better.

Reflections on 8ATE

Last Saturday, Blu-tooth, Minnesota Mike and I attended a rally and march to protest the passage of Prop 8. Even though Prop 8 is specific to California, demonstrations were occuring everywhere nationwide. Ours was in front of City Hall in Downtown LA.

I was glad to be there in solidarity, but there's really nothing more that can be done except wait for the courts to make a decision (with hopes that such demonstrations could influence the judges in our favor maybe?!) and perhaps wait for a repeal of the discriminatory proposition in 2010.

Not that rallies and boycotts are insignificant. They are important, necessary and strategic. But where were all the rallies and boycotts before the majority of California voters decided that a marriage recognized by the state must be between a man and a woman?

Instead I see boycotts against Majorie Christoffersen, a member of the Mormon Church and proprietor of El Coyote, who had contributed $100 to her church to support Prop 8.

Dude. Are you kidding me? This is why we lost Prop 8. I could understand if you don't patronize El Coyote because the food taste like diarrhea. But to focus so much energy on this one woman who acknowledged and apologized for her mistake, was contrite and offered free lunches to her offended clientele. She admitted that she simply did what her church told her. So why waste any more time and energy punishing this idiot? She's already experiencing a mental and emotional breakdown, yet the boycott continues. It makes me sad, not for her (I find her situation humorous actually), but because the disenfranchised continue to fight the disenfranchised. It's classic divide and conquer. LGBTs and Mormons probably have nothing in common EXCEPT that our government does not recognize either of their definitions of marriage. Kind of ironic.

On a positive note, this was Minnesota Mike's first protest. Ever. How exciting!



In the video, we're on the train. I was so pleased to see the huge number of people who used public transportation to get to the rally. Also, there were A LOT of good-looking people there. Gays are just hot.

Of course I randomly bump into my favorite couple with their hairless Peruvian dogs.

By the way, hairless Peruvian dogs are hypoallergenic, for obvious reasons. Can't see you Malia and Sasha with these cute pups?

Then there were some very cool posters (which kind of bummed us out because we forgot to make our own. Blu-tooth and I felt so unprepared).

This picture is funny because the lesbian on the left was upset that I took a picture with her poster being held by the lesbian in the center of the photo. She whined, "that's my poster." To make her feel better, I took another picture of her with her poster, but I refuse to post it.
No one is going to see it.

I know Tron and other Ron Paul supporters would appreciate this.

And finally, we marched along Main Street until we reached Chinatown, where we diverged for some dim sum.

What do we want? DIM SUM. When do we want it? NOW!!

Who bounced better?

Dude, you gotta choose me. I make a great Chinaman face at the end.


But my nephew's performance was excellent as well. Sudden and immediate aggression is always appealing.

Bay 2 Breaker Bitches

So I've received inquiries all day about this year's Bay to Breakers and, of course, about our outfits. Although tamer than I prefer (I think we only saw 2 naked guys), it was fun walking around SF and breathing fresh air. The trees are gorgeous in Golden Gate Park. And we looked pretty fucken crazy:



But sometimes pictures alone cannot describe the mood of an occasion. Fortunately, a video can:

This is how we roll

Title: Partying It Up in Palm Springs

Also on YouTube!

Panda Man Premiere

It's tomorrow... I'm so fucken nervous!
If you're a panda advocate or lover, check this out.
Power to the Pandas!

Synopsis:

PANDA MAN

(United States, 2006) Dir.: Rebecca Yee

A parody of documentary filmmaker Werner Herzog's GRIZZLY MAN, PANDA MAN explores the life and death of professional panda bear enthusiast Rick Yitt, who sought to liberate pandas and end panda exploitation. Rick lived with pandas for 13 years, until he and his girlfriend, Gloria Yip, were attacked and killed by the infamous giant panda, Ling-Ling.

Joe Mak in Chicago!

Joe Mak, Street Magician is debuting at the 11th Annual Chicago Asian American Film Festival today, as I type actually. It started at 5:15 pm midwestern time. I am so extremely bummed that I am not there right now, but I didn't have the time nor funds to go home. Sniffle. Still, I am very excited and hope the Chi-town folks find it funny.

Here's a descirption of our short from FAAIM's program booklet:

Joe Mak: Street Magician
Rebecca Yee | 2005 | 9 min | video | USA
David Blaine ain’t got nothing on “the Mak.” Joe’s magic defies all sense of logic and purpose, as his street performance amazes mostly himself. Catch the magic of Joe Mak!

Congratulations to the JMSM cast and crew!