Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Annex Arizona

We Californians should declare war on Arizona. When we prevail, all of Arizona will be California's. The only thing Oso and I can't decide on is whether we should drive conservative Arizonians out of the state or subject Californian citizenship on them.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

So my racist and xenophobic coworker comes into my office

...and apologizes profusely. She proclaims she did not intend to send me the email (below). It was suppose to go to her brother who likes to fact-check "statistics like that." She continues to describe how she was up all night agonizing about what had happened, and that she was waiting for me all morning to come into her office to confront her. Before I could even tell her I'm fine, that I realized it was a mistake and that my name was probably fresh in her Outlook due to a correspondence we had earlier that day, she backpeddles and says unconvincingly, I hope you don't think I believe in "things like that."

I don't know which is worse. To believe in "things like that" or to deny you believe in "things like that" when you really do. Obviously if you are denying those beliefs, then you must know they are wrong. Right?

She should have left it alone. I already decided not to report her violation of our company email policy to Human Resources or to the executive director, a progressive African American man. I can see anyone making this same mistake. Also, I simply believe everyone has a right to their opinions, even if they are hateful and ignorant, and hope that others would respect my perhaps divergent opinions and freedom to express them (even though there's no such thing in the workplace). But her explanations were dubious because: First, if she meant to send it to her brother (who remains nameless), why was the email addressed to me in the BCC line? That actually led me to believe I was part of a larger distribution list of neo-nazi right-wingers, and maybe they are being cultivated and harvested at my job? Second, the title of her subject line did not have a "FW:" in front of it. Third, her signature block was right under the end of the message.

Oso Grande said that I should have considered reporting her, that we should stop hate mongers like her... or make this opportunity a teachable moment. I did not want to do either, and was accused of being a weak liberal. I wish I did not know at all. To know that this coworker deeply despises the people I serve and the work I do everyday, it's really unsettling. But I guess if the two of us with such divergent beliefs can coexist without any problems, I expect others to do the same. That's what America should be. In fact, maybe I'm not a weak liberal, but rather, a strong American? Take that, Oso.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

This is my response (and co-worker's response) to the previous email

So sorry, DYY. I did not mean to send it.
--------------------------
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Device

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: DYY
To:
Sent: Mon Jul 19 15:48:37 2010
Subject: RE: Born: 1776, Died 2008


Hi -----,

I just read this email from you and I'm not sure if you had intended to send it to me, but I don't think this correspondence is appropriate for the workplace. I actually found it offensive and am concerned about others who might feel the same.

I don't mean to quash your communications, and have no intentions of taking this any further, but just thought you might want to know.

Thanks,
DYY

Subject line entitled: BORN 1776, Died 2008

So I received an email yesterday from a coworker who I believe must have sent it to me inadvertently, since I am the national director of affirmative action & diversity and all...
*********************************************************************************

Born 1776, Died 2008...
Born 1776, Died 2008
It doesn't hurt to read this several times.


Professor Joseph Olson of Hamline University School of Law in St. Paul , Minnesota , points out some interesting facts concerning last November's Presidential election:

Number of States won by: Obama: 19 McCain: 29
Square miles of land won by: Obama: 580,000 McCain: 2,427,000
Population of counties won by: Obama: 127 million McCain: 143 million
Murder rate per 100,000 residents in counties won by: Obama: 13.2 McCain: 2.1
Professor Olson adds: "In aggregate, the map of the territory McCain won was mostly the land owned by the taxpaying citizens of the country.

Obama territory mostly encompassed those citizens living in low income tenements and living off various forms of government welfare..."

Olson believes the United States is now somewhere between the "complacency and apathy" phase of Professor Tyler's definition of democracy, with some forty percent of the nation's population already having reached the "governmental dependency" phase.

If Congress grants amnesty and citizenship to twenty million criminal invaders called illegals - and they vote - then we can say goodbye to the USA in fewer than five years.

If you are in favor of this, then by all means, delete this message.

If you are not, then pass this along to help everyone realize just how much is at stake, knowing that apathy is the greatest danger to our freedom.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Anti-Rape Condom

I think this is pure brilliance. Check it.
I've been meaning to buy a stun gun, but maybe this is a better alternative.

The best spam ever

Marlon Phelps at noisemakeBL@blogmarks.net emailed me the following message:

but under ink-drops idly spattered, i was dreaming just now when you spoke.

broke with a trembling star and far-off cry. for anarchy for anarchy


Wtf? I like it though.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Friday Night Lights

Hong Kong is in Paris. So I'm at home watching prime-time television on a Friday night. I don't own cable. Only a digital converter box, subsidized by the federal government. In fact, wasn't this program an initiative of the W. Bush administration? That might explain why my converter box sucks ass. I call it, "government cheese".

When I do watch regular TV, I mostly watch programs on NBC, FOX or KCET/PBS. Occasionally the CW during Top Model cycles. Tonight I'm watching ABC which, in my opinion, sucks ass also. It is Disney, after all. Yet I'm riveted by tonight's line-up. First I watched WIFE SWAP. Dude, for those of you who watch WIFE SWAP... how trippy. As you can glean from the title, the wives swap homes and families. The twist, however, is in the rules. During the first half of the show, the wife/mother has to live by the family's rules. In the second half, the family must live by the wife/mother's rules. I know it doesn't sound ingenious, but watching WIFE SWAP emoted very strong feelings in me. I felt uncomfortable the entire time, yet couldn't stop watching. It kind of felt like watching a gang bang.

Next I watched WHAT WOULD YOU DO? hosted by John Quinones. Man, I would love his job. I love that Candid Camera shit. I'm all about that, yo. The concept is what I personally call "human/social experiments" or simply "social science"... with a hidden video camera near-by. Yes, caught on tape. But not to humiliate people, I find that rude. It's about furthering the understanding of our culture and communities through the study of social psychology, and coupled with practical, real-world application in a natural but somewhat controlled setting so to evoke an uninhibited response. If you can't tell, I'm totally serious.

Tonight's show was excellent. It's like WHAT WOULD YOU DO if an attractive drunk woman asks you to breathe into her breathalyzer so her car would start? WHAT WOULD YOU if you witness a soccer coach overwork and berate a dehydrated and soon-to-collapse wimpy red-headed student in the park? WHAT WOULD YOU DO if you're in a pharmacy and overhear a fragile old lady say she's unable to pay for her diabetes medicine? WHAT WOULD YOU DO if you see a restaurant manager sexually harass a waitress? What if the waitress dressed like a slut? Yeah, they changed up the circumstances too. I LOVE that shit.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Google Q of the Day: How long can beans soak before they grow killer mold?

Unfortunately, no answer on point. However, I found a pleasant secondary source entitled, "Edible Bean Disease and Disorder Identification."

Google Q of the Day: How many cups are in a quart?

Yes, once I saw the answer was four cups, I said to myself, Duh.

So finally I am making the infamous vegetable bean soup in a crock pot. If you were following my posts, you would realize my beans have been soaking for two days. Is that bad? I just got so busy last night...

But I'm back. Sort of. I now see my idea to make vegetable bean soup in a crock pot was impulsive and poorly-planned. However, my aversion to waste unused food is greater than my general disinterest to assemble this soup. I mean, how much longer can these beans soak without growing some sort of killer mold?

Monday, March 22, 2010

My First CSA Package

Not sure if you could tell from my previous post, but I am beginning to garden. So far, I love it. Yesterday I spent the whole day working on my flower bed, now a mixture of cacti, succulents and perennials. I moved the asiatic lilies indoor with hopes of salvaging what are left of the lilies after the squirrels have feasted on the bulbs. Squirrels are not as cute as they seem, especially when they eat your flowers and leave a mess for you to see. They just don't give a fuck.

To me, gardening is trial and error. I have no time or interest to read or learn about gardening. I am one of those people who prefer not to read instructions. I can indeed read and comprehend instructions, however, and I am also quite good at following them. But I'd rather not. It feels too time-consuming and repressive.

Due to my general disinterest in instructions, rules and some laws, I decided to wait for my father Yip Yee to visit and provide a vital tutorial before I start my salad and produce garden. I cannot wait. In the meantime, I am participating with a Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) for my local, seasonal and organic fruit/vegetable needs.

The produce pictured above is from South Central Farmers' Cooperative for $15 a box! It is a great deal and I love supporting the now famous South Central Farmers. Yet I felt very, very overwhelmed. I do not cook and, to be honest, I couldn't even identify some of the vegetables, at least in its raw form... Blu-Tooth volunteered to assist me and calm my anxieties. Together we determined that the package contained beets, carrots, green onion, spinach, cilantro, kale, broccoli, collard greens, three types of lettuce, and one additional leafy green vegetable we could not accurately identify. I added the spinach and green onion in my udon for dinner and it was lovely. The produce really looks and tastes fresh. Additionally, I have begun to prepare a vegetable and bean soup for the crock pot. Official assembly will commence tomorrow evening after the beans are soaked overnight. I refuse to let any of this produce go to waste!

The only negative aspect was that the package contained no fruit. Because of this, I've decided to also try CSA California for my next patronage. I will keep you posted on any and all new developments. Isn't this like so cool?

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Google Q of the Day: What is eating my asiatic lilies?

Apparently EVERYTHING eats lilies -- squirrels, chipmunks, rabbits, deer, groundhogs, mice, moles, slugs -- the list of malicious masticators is virtually endless!

Hong Kong commented that it's probably not a deer.

I am dismayed. What will happen when I set up my salad garden!

Saturday, January 16, 2010

The Zen Mind

I also choose a theme every new year. This theme becomes my mantra, a conscious and directed way of feeling and living for myself. In 2008, my theme was BALANCE OXIDANTS WITH ANTI-OXIDANTS. In 2009, it was EMBRACE ZEN.

This year I'm going to EMBRACE ZEN again, because the art of zen cannot be accomplished in a mere 365 days. Along with this renewed commitment (I just decided today), I viewed my new 2010 wall calendar in the kitchen, a Chanuka gift from Hong Kong. Admittedly, when I first received the present, I overlooked the theme of the calendar and automatically assumed the passages alongside the Japanese calligraphy art were just cheesy Confucius-type-but-Japanese inspirational quotes. I didn't pay much attention, and instead thought the calendar was just part of Hong Kong's fetish with all things Japanese.

This morning while eating baked Ruffles with tomatillo salsa for breakfast, I finally paused and read January's entry, 16 days later -- "When you are very honest with yourself and brave enough, you can express yourself fully. Whatever people may think, it is all right. Just be yourself. That is actual practice, your actual life."

What a great quote! I must admit, I feel inspired. I actually feel better. Did I just experience a zen moment? I flip the calendar around and discover it's entitled, THE ZEN MIND.

Whoa. This is a sign for sure. Hence, I shall modify my theme to EMBRACE THE ZEN MIND. So here's to 2010 and embracing the zen mind. Wish me luck.

Happy new year!

Is it appropriate to still wish people a "happy new year?" Around the office, when I see someone I haven't seen since December 31st, I greet them with happiness of a new year. They seem to appreciate it.

This year I made a resolution I already broke. Fortunately, being Chinese, I have a second chance to redeem myself on February 14th (yes, Chinese New Year falls on Valentine's Day this year). My resolution is to blog every day. I have a month to get back into the habit of blogging. I hope it's like riding a bicycle.