Who says race doesn't matter?

CBS has announced that the castaways from this fall's Survivor: Cook Islands will -- in what the show's producer and host both acknowledge to be a controversial move -- initially be organized into four tribes divided along ethnic lines: African-American, Asian-American, Hispanic and Caucasian.

Damn. I think that is all I have to say. Damn.

In silent protest (as I do not watch Survivor, although I might this season), I refuse to cheer for any specific racial team. Still, let's review the cast mates on the Asian American team, shall we? They better represent...

• Anh-Tuan "Cao Boi" Bui, a 42-year-old nail salon manager from Christianburg, VA

You go, Bui! I like the untamed hair. It gives him a competitive edge cuz he looks all psycho and barbaric and shit.

• Jenny Guzon-Bae, a 36-year-old real estate agent who currently resides in Lake Forest, IL and is originally from Melrose Park, IL

Illinois in da house! I'll give her some love even though she's from the booty suburbs of Chicago.

• Yul Kwon, a 31-year-old management consultant who currently resides in San Mateo, CA and is originally from Flushing, NY

This is good. Koreans are wild. He will be the muscle.

• Becky Lee, a 28-year-old attorney who currently resides in Washington, DC and is originally from Pittsburgh, PA

Becky Lee? Like Becca Yee? And she's an attorney too... except I would never strike a pose like that. Ewww.

• Brad Virata, a 29-year-old fashion director who currently resides in Los Angeles, CA and is originally from Seattle, WA

Fucken pretty boy. You just better not cry and embarrass your race.