Why I hate King Tut

KimChee Farmer and I spent our 4^th of July afternoon at the Field Museum. As a child, I was so fond of the museum because of the long marble steps surrounding the museum, and the vast exhibits of world cultures and animals. As an adult, I see the museum is truly majestic. Field Museum reminds me of historic museums located in Europe or New York. While at the museum, I actually felt like I was part of an intellectual global world. LA doesn’t have shit like this, unfortunately…

Of course those feelings came crashing down when we entered the King Tut exhibit. I guess I should have known, as I was never interested in Egyptian relics. But what I soon and sadly discovered is that the story behind the figure – the almighty King Tut – was really uninspiring. It wasn’t even mythical. Basically, King Tut was crowned Pharaoh at a young age when his dad had mysteriously disappeared, likely due to his father’s very corrupt empire. King Tut’s dad ended religious pluralism in Egypt and ordered that all his people worship him and his deities only. The people of Egypt were still pissed when King Tut took over, but things quickly became worse. It turns out that good ole’ King Tut was a party boy. Just like George W. Bush.
King Tut’s reign was short-lived as he died early, likely due to too much partying. Predictably, he had no positive effects in Egypt. Just like George W. Bush.

Tut’s remaining legacy was his blinged-out tomb, filled with all this shit like golden fans and golden shields and golden statuettes of his sister/lover. I couldn’t help but be grossed out by the decadence. I also couldn’t believe I paid an additional $25 to see some rich kid’s toys. Yeah, I felt slightly jipped.

Call me cynical but you know it’s true. This little Tut bitch didn’t do anything significant while he was alive, in spite of all the power and opportunity to do so. Tut was just some dumb guy who was lucky enough to be inbred into a royal family. Just like George W. Bush.

I wonder what Bush will leave behind as his legacy? Just like King Tut, perhaps the fall of another great civilization?

I suppose I should give credit to the scientist(s) in King Tut’s staff who successfully preserved King Tut’s belongings all these centuries. Through this person’s work, we are able to learn about the lives and times of really rich and powerful authoritarian families of the past. After all, they were people too. If you prick them, do they not bleed?

I believe that some day, centuries later, new life forms will also be able to examine preserved relics from powerful families of today. For King Bush, they would find rusty oil rigs or used cocaine vials…