DYY and sidekick Double O...

Double O picked me up from the airport on Saturday evening, and we immediately began partying for his birthday. Since I am no longer in “The Know”, O relished in the fact that it is now he who shows DYY the hot spots. Whatever. Where are the drugs?

First we commenced our night at this super bourgeois bar called Japonais. It’s an Asian fusion restaurant that serves sushi and dim sum. Not a place I would ever eat at, but it was surprisingly a nice scene. People were decent-to-good-looking and the ambiance was quite pretty. Music was pretty good too… it ranged from house to dancehall to pop. The bar also offers a great outdoor patio adjacent to the Chicago River, in an area that only a few years back was completely industrial, occupied by factories and the Projects. Now the area is bustling with yuppie scum, trendy restaurants and overpriced condos. All the poor black folks have disappeared. The streets are amazingly sanitized. There were even white people canoeing in the river, which not too long ago was discolored and contaminated with toxic waste. Back in the day, no one went near it.

Oh, the glories of gentrification! Beautify the city for White Return.

Next we migrated to Spoon, but couldn’t get in due to overcapacity. We stood outside chatting with the bouncers until they saw O take a photo of me giving the middle finger to a passing Hummer. The bouncers were surprised at my gesture of love because, apparently, they are all Hummer drivers. Oops.
So our next stop was Nacional (LA has a club named Nacional too!). It’s a serious dance club that spins salsa, meringue and reggaetone. No Tego Calderon unfortunately… and the people were pretty f-ugly. Total arf arf. Still, O led me on the dance floor and, although difficult at first, I forgot about the ugly people. I was impressed with O’s salsa skills and his uncanny knowledge of Puerto Rico. I felt educated by his "cultural capital". He ordered very delicious and STRONG drinks for us too, called Caipirinha, which he pronounced perfectly! Go Double O! The recipe for this hot Latin drink is on Grub Club.

The last stop was Reverse. It’s a club in the former meat-packing district of Chicago, near Oprah Winfrey’s studio. We met up with some of O’s friends there. Not Oprah's friends, but Oliver's, that is. By this time, I was fed up that no one had weed and/or drugs on them. I asked everyone I met. Nada. I asked this one drunk dude whether he had any drugs on him, and he looked at me sadly and said, “Why do you need drugs?” I tapped his drink and kindly reminded him that alcohol is a drug. He thanked me for the reminder. I said “Anytime.”

So eventually I resigned and just drank… which I totally regretted when I finally got home at 4 am, drunk-called Tonkhero, and passed out in my party gear, completely dehydrated and intoxicated. My mom forcibly woke me up at 9 am to have dim sum with my brother and his fiancé. I was totally ill. It was harsh, needless to say… but I did it all for Double O…

Happy Birthday, my friend!