Projects I would pursue if I moved back to Chicago

• Open a recycling center in Chinatown.I was appalled at the number of recyclable items lying on the streets or in waste cans in the neighborhoods.I tried really hard not to show my grief and repulsion when I visited homes of friends who do not recycle.But deep down, I know my friends aren’t wasteful, over-consuming degenerates of society.Rather, if recycling was made easy, they would do it.I know they would.Hence, we need to institute some blue bins, and the recyclables would be delivered to my recycling center, which would be conveniently located and easily accessible to the people of Chinatown.Also, won't Chinese seniors and kids would jump at the chance to make extra money from recycling paper, plastic and aluminum? I think they would. I would.
  
• Be on the board of the Chinatown Public Library.When the city relocated and rebuilt the library, I was thrilled.The former library was a shabby ass shoebox.I think the fire capacity was 30.Anyway, when the new library was finally constructed and opened to the public, it was extremely modest, but very clean and well-organized.It felt a bit futuristic too.Of course, that was in the early 90’s. Now the books are beat up and disheveled, the staff seems indifferent, the kids are dirty and the computers are outdated.The lighting was poor and the floors were grimy.I sat on a sticky chair.Enough said.
• Join the writing staff at the Chicago Reader. The Reader is equivalent to the LA Weekly, except the articles of the Reader are really shitty. The articles seem shallow and dumb. No wittiness or humor or significance whatsoever. They do not come close to conveying the vibrant culture, lifestyle and/or politics of Chicago (maybe with the exception of the food section). It’s like the writers are lame suburban transplants who think they know Chicago. It’s been eight years since I moved away from home, and I still feel like I understand the city more than those fuckers. Fucken suburbanites. They need to die.
• Convert my parent’s multi-apartment townhouse into a single family unit. Perhaps a duplex. It just needs to be done. It’s time.