Mother Nature and Me

Photo by DYY

In celebration of our nation's labor, I traveled to the Pacific Northwest (the Olympic Peninsula, to be precise) for some camping and outdoor festivities. During this trip, DYY and Mother Nature were total BFFs.I followed the advice of this hand-made pillow we found in our room of this kitchy-cute but low-rent motel in Port Angeles where we stayed before venturing into the wilderness.

As a Student of Nature, I learned so much in only a few days. I can't even contain all that I have absorbed. I feel like a tree during photosynthesis... and below is my sugar.

DYY's Top Twelve List of New Things Taught by Mother Nature

(12) SEA OTTERS ARE SO COOL

Thanks to a free pamphet distributed by the Olympic National Park Service, I learned that sea otters are really fuckin cool. What struck me most wasn't that they are super useful in preserving kelp forests by feeding on sea urchins that graze on kelp, but that they can grow up to five feet tall and weigh up to 60-100 pounds! Dude, I'm 5'4'' and 100 something pounds. So, a sea otter is like a prepubescent tween, but (presumably) lacks the tweeny attitude that makes you want to slap tweens in the face.

Unfortunately, I did not see one. I was bummed. Because if I had, I would ask it to join our camp and chill out with us. I could see the sea otter and I sharing a joint under the stars. Don't they seem like they would get high if they could? Dude, there's a reason why they're always backfloating...

I also learned ways to help our new furry friends.

(11) TROLLS DO LIVE IN TREES

I woke this one up when I tried peeing in the hole. Oops.

(10) RAINFORESTS AREN'T AS SCARY AS THEY SEEM

Photos by Tonkhero & DYY

(9) SLUGS ARE AS UGLY AS THEY SEEM (BUT STILL NEAT)

I wanted to videotape the slug but it was going so slow and I got bored. It's really gross looking, by the way. It looks like a slivering turd. Speaking of turds...

(8) ANIMAL TRACKS AND SCATS ARE MORE INTERESTING THAN HUMAN TRACKS AND SCATS

Pictured above is Elk skat. Upon cursory examination, Tonkhero labeled it right away. God, he is so smart.

(7) CAMPING CAN BE EXHAUSTING

I had to take a nap once we found our campsite. It is incredible how exhausted I was. I think the local store in Port Angeles added some rufies in my tuna sandwich. And this whole time, I thought the town was known for meth... boy, was I wrong.

(6) THE LOGGING INDUSTRY IS FUCKED UP

As we drove through the mountains on route to the Peninsula, we saw first hand the ecological destruction of clearcuts and logging on the environment. It's quite alarming and real ugly, and apparently, horrible on the ecosystem. Tonkhero and I had a very long discussion about it during our car ride, and I was fortunate to apply what we discussed by personally witnessing the devastation and its accompanying propaganda by the logging industry. It's crazy. For more info, check this out.

(5) SMOKED SALMON AND OTHER SNACKS TASTE BETTER OUTDOORS

I don't quite understand this phenomenon, but it's true. I have a feeling that I would not have enjoyed Washington State's speciality of Smoked Wild Sockeye Salmon quite as much if I had consumed it in my living room. Tom's jalapeno chips, sugar glazed oatmeal cookies, Tasty Bites (packets of Indian entrees that you add boiling water and voila!), smores, peaches, goldfish crackers, etc., were all so so good. Tonkhero did a good job shopping for food. I couldn't stop eating. But then again, what else could we do? There's nothing else out there but you, Mother Nature, and preserved treats and goodies!

(4) PEEING OUTDOORS IS BETTER THAN PEEING AT THE PARK'S PUBLIC RESTROOMS

And forget about shitting! The public bathrooms were gross. That is why we had to travel to the closest town (Forks, WA) for me to do Number Two. After all the eating I described above, I really needed to go!

As a city girl, I find rural towns to be refreshing and charming at times... and you can find the best vintage earrings at some of their second-hand stores. But not at Forks. One could recognize immediately that Forks was a once-thriving logging community that the industry has abandoned due to its depressed economy. That's what Tonkhero said anyway.

One cool thing about Forks is this Chinese restaurant called Golden Gate Restaurant. Owned by Cantonese proprietors, I believe they gave me extra MSG in my chicken fried rice. Score! And the cutest eight-year old boy, very chubby and precocious, worked the register. Oh, how chinese child labor brings back sweet memories of my own childhood! I hope that boy grows up to do great things in Forks, WA.

(3) A CAMPFIRE IS KEY TO ANY CAMPING EXPERIENCE

We had a fire each night. The one pictured above was at the beach. I had collected enough wood that night to have a fire last for several hours. It was great fun, to see the fire illuminate the pitch black darkness and to be hypnotized by the wild flames. It was interesting to learn how to control the intensity of the flame by how you stack the wood, and to examine which wood would burn at what rate. That night, I developed a sincere appreciation for the types of wood we have available on this earth. Yeah, and I'm also a slight pyro...

(2) THE BEACH IS SURROUNDED BY ROCKS

This is your brain on drugs. SAY NO TO DRUGS. Thank you.

Instead of sand, the ocean crashed against rocks. Because there are so many rivers in the forests, a countless number of rocks are streamed from the rivers to the ocean via rainfall. There is not enough time for the rocks to naturally grind into sand because there are so many rocks and so much rainfall. Hence, a beach filled with cool clean rocks and pebbles. I've never seen anything like it. It was pretty awesome.

(1) CAMPING ON THE BEACH IS THE ABSOLUTE BEST!!

Photo by DYY

If you haven't tried it, you must. It's the tops!