Represent

My newest t-shirt, a belated birthday gift from Kim Chee Farmer.
SOUTH SIDE!
(That's his painting in the background. Fresh!)

US torture continues

This past week, the Senate adopted the Military Commissions Act of 2006. This bill is identical to legislation adopted by the House, and removes important checks on the president by: failing to protect due process, eliminating habeas corpus, undermining enforcement of the Geneva Conventions, and giving a "get out of jail free card" to senior officials who authorized or ordered illegal torture and abuse.

"This legislation gives the president new unchecked powers to detain, abuse, and try people at Guantanamo Bay and other government facilities around the world," said Caroline Fredrickson, Director of the ACLU Washington Legislative Office.

Permissible abuse includes shackling detainees in stress positions, stripping them of their clothes, denying them sleep, forcing them to stand for hours or days, dousing them with icy water, depriving them of heat or food or subjecting them to incessant noise or screaming.

You can judge a society by the way they treat thier prisoners.

Find it at a market near you?

The latest controversial, ultra-caffeinated sensation drink on the market, Cocaine (yes, it’s really called that) is being marketed as a “legal alternative” to the drug for which is it named and is said to give a “high” within five minutes. Makes Red Bull look not so bad, eh?

We're all androids

Unfortunately, however, I do not dream of electric sheep. I wish I did. That would be cool.

I did dream of Pris last night though... she's the coolest replicant ever, way better than Harrison Ford's love interest who allowed herself to be raped by a filthy human. Yuck.

Here is Daryl Hannah in her finest role of Pris.

Best quote of the movie: "Wake up. You're about to die."

Culture Clash taught me to speak like a Vato

I just found the program for Culture Clash's latest production, Water & Power under a pile of junk mail. Tonk and I were fortunate to get tickets to the final show of the production at the Mark Taper Forum in downtown a couple of weeks ago. Although not as impressed with the actual performance, I was tickled to find a glossary in the program filled with Spanish slang that both Gringos and Chinos can appreciate.

Here are my favorites. I took the liberty to mix and match words and phrases:

Poquito mas mota -- A little more marijuana
Poquito mas gavachita -- A little more little white girl
Poquito mas pedo -- A little more drunkenness and/or trouble
Callate, Viejita! -- Shut up, Old Lady!
Clamate, Chavala! -- Calm down, Little Girl
Poquito mas cabeza, Chavala! -- A little more head, Little Girl
Que casualidad, que curioso -- What a coincidence, how strange (this is an actual phrase from the program booklet)

Oh how I love learning other languages. But in retrospect, I should have went to the Banksy exhibit which happened to have ended that same Sunday.

Check out the controversially painted Elephant in the Room:

I'm ambivalent about the elephant issue. It's such a beautiful art piece with a meaningful message. During the show, cards were handed out explaining: "There's an elephant in the room. There's a problem we never talk about. The fact is that life isn't getting any fairer…. 20 billion people live below the poverty line." On the other hand, I could see why animal activists were upset. Although nontoxic, the paint was unsafe and illegal to be used in such a manner. Plus, there was a huge crowd and it was very hot for the elephant.

Despite this, Banksy is cool as hell. His graffitti art has been all over LA. He's very anti-corporate, anti-government, yet his art is not didactic or obvious. It's actually very artful. It makes you think but not too hard. Just the way I like it.

So Banksy's just as political as Cultural Clash, but different. You should check out both websites that I conveniently included in my entry above (especially Banksy's).

Me entiendes, Chingadera? You get me, you piece of crap?

Si? Sabes! Palabra.

Girls Gone... Good?

Good news for the morning! "Girls Gone Wild" Creator, Joe Francis, plead guilty to two felony counts of violating federal record-keeping laws by failing to document the ages of young women in his infamous videos. In other words, he's busted for videotaping underage girls doing naughty, naughty things.

The judge imposed a $500,000 fine. When the judge asked Francis if he understood that, given the felonies he was admitting to, he could be sentenced to as many as 10 years in prison, he seemed surprised. "Um, I don't understand that," he said.

I guess that's why he got BUSTED! Such a dumb ass!

Dead Boy promised to get me this

A foldable bike! How fucken cool is this? I would look so fresh riding one of these. And it's like less than $100! That's why you gotta love merchandise from China. So good yet so cheap!

Newsweek's latest cover, by geographical region

*Sigh*
How gross. How sad.
Wake up, America!

The Good Wife's Guide

Good Housekeeping article -- May 13, 1955

• Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
• Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
• Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
• Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.
• During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
• Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.
• Be happy to see him.
• Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
• Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
• Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
• Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.
• Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
• Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
• Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
• A good wife always knows her place.

I missed the first 1/2 of racist Survivor

... so I have yet to develop a sociological analysis of the most controversial show of the year! And I will assume that a group of bickering, backstabbing Latinos (that's all I saw during the 2nd half of the show) does not reflect the scope and importance of the show.

Here is an analysis from columnist Joel Stein. He cracks me up... and he's rooting for the Asian team. WERD.

Finally, Some Prime-Time Racism

Battle of the races on 'Survivor' places discussion of stereotypes where it belongs -- in the mainstream. -- September 19, 2006

I'VE NEVER BEEN interested in "Survivor," but the new, racist "Survivor" — that, I was psyched about. If "Battle of the Network Stars" made good TV, weekly competitions between poorly fed "tribes" of African Americans, whites, Asians and Latinos were going to be awesome. So, last Thursday night, I got some brie and water crackers, put on a J. Crew sweater vest and settled down on the settee to root for whitey.

None of my white friends wanted to watch with me because — although it was fine for the other races — they felt it was unbecoming for Caucasian Americans to root for their own kind. I found that condescending. Cheering for the whites is no different from rooting for my college football team, for U.S. Olympic teams or for men to finish before women in porn scenes. The latter, unlike the men's Olympic basketball team, never let me down.

But it turns out lots of people got freaked out about this. As soon as CBS announced this season's theme, leaders of the New York City Council demanded that the network abandon the idea, and GM, Coca-Cola, Campbell Soup, Johnson & Johnson and Febreze ended their advertising on the series. You know you've stumbled into a huge pile of it when even Febreze walks away.

No one got upset in past seasons when the show used gender and age to divide people. But we've somehow decided that racial issues can only be discussed in books, college lectures, NPR and other mediums that are so boring people can't get riled up. Songs by Coldplay are probably largely about race.

Unlike 30 years ago, when "All in the Family" and "Chico and the Man" made cutting jokes about race, we've set so many rules about talking about skin color that we rarely do it at all. "Survivor: Cook Islands" isn't trivializing race — it's just not avoiding it like the rest of us. If there really were a group of people stranded on a deserted island, this is exactly how things would go down. Just like in jail.

So I was pumped for some serious racial tension as soon as the contestants pulled up to the island. The giant old ship conjured different images depending on which team was on camera: a slave ship, a makeshift raft from the Dominican Republic, a boat full of Vietnamese or an afternoon sailing cruise to Nantucket. My team was going to rock.

Not only, to my delight, was my team the best looking, but the whiteys seemed to have a really fun attitude, joking and bonding and having a great time. A few minutes into the show, however — long before any contests or voting anyone off — something weird started to happen. I started to turn on my own people.

These white people were a little too preppy, too frat-boy, too happy with themselves. While other teams were fighting over hut building, the white folks were making toasts to each other over little bits of coconut milk and lying down to sleep half-naked and spooning en masse, thrilled with their total super awesomeness. It turns out I kind of hate white people.

The black team wasn't doing it for me either, with its sexism, infighting and talk about representing and feeling each other's vibes. They loved themselves almost as much as white people do.

The Latinos were kind of likable and hardworking if quiet, but those Asians — they were terrific. In fact, better yet, they were like me. They were laid-back and self-effacing. There was a journalist, a lawyer, a management consultant — just like my friends. One of them even went to Stanford four years after I did. And they won the first contest handily, even though their chicken was stolen by the white people. White people who probably didn't even eat the feet or eyeballs.

I don't know if my feelings are because of the fact that this is a particularly nice group of Asians, or if Jews are culturally more akin to Asians than other white people, or because Asians are a completely superior race destined to rule the planet. All I know is that the show is allowing me to make these kinds of racist comments in public.

And I think that's good. Not just because, as CBS argues, getting to know these contestants will help dispel stereotypes. It also will allow us to see which stereotypes are true and discuss which differences make us uncomfortable. Maybe if we admit that race is a factor — just like gender and age — we'll be a little more honest with each other. And maybe we'll also realize that, if we're going to survive, we really need to band together against the yellow people.

Yummy or yucky?

Krispy Kreme Fried Chicken Sandwich

Find it at the Los Angeles County Fair in Pomona

South America is the Shit

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez called President Bush "the devil" at the U.N. General Assembly today.

"The devil came here yesterday," Chavez said, referring to Bush's address on Tuesday and making the sign of the cross. "He came here talking as if he were the owner of the world."

Chavez, who has joined Iran in opposing U.S. influence, accused Washington of "domination, exploitation and pillage of peoples of the world."

Hugo Chavez is my hero. Him and Gandhi.

Other exciting news is happening in Porto Nacional, Brazil. Farmers are being contracted by the government and some major corporations to grow castor beans, soybeans, palm oil and other crops for the purpose of developing biodiesel. Derived from animal fats or vegetable oils, this substitute for petroleum diesel is generating ten of millions of dollars from investors.

No country has been more successful at displacing fossil fuels with green energy than Brazil. Hammered by the oil shocks of the 1970s, the nation committed itself to developing a domestic ethanol industry to reduce its dependence on imported petroleum.

Will other countries follow Brazil's lead? Let's hope...

Happy Birthday to Me

It was fucken great. We reserved a private room in the back of Sake House and it was on! Good music, great food and fabulous friends! I would share stories of the evening but my memory was violently stripped away from me by alcohol. Yes, alcohol is evil. Real evil.

It was all sweet and innocent at first...

Then five minutes later...

Yup, I'm still standing at the end... sort of...

True Friendship

Don't you hate getting those cheesy ass emails about love and friendship and hope? I usually delete them right away without reading them, and curse the sender 1,000 times.

Blu-tooth, who has on occasion sent cheesy forwards, has just recently redeemed herself with this forward:

True Friendship

Are you tired of those sissy-ass "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship:

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how muchworse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask; "because you are my friend".

Remember........A good friend will help you move.....a REALLY good friend will help you move a body.......let me know if you ever need me to bring a shovel.

Send this to 10 of your closest friends, then get depressed because you can only think of 4.

I won!

Can you believe this sweet lady is mine? I won her from my bid on Ebay with the help of my sister, who is a mother of two toddlers and, consequently, a skilled Ebay user. Or shall I say Ebay winner? Because that's what I am, bitches. I beat fellow Ebay user, ValleyOfTheDolls.

I spotted this poster when I went to the Rose Bowl Flea Market this past Sunday. The bohemian guy selling it wanted $30 for it. I said $10. He said no. I walked away... but with much regret.

Then I thought, wait a minute... I live in the 21st century! I don't have to buy merchandise from this stupid hippie. I can buy it from the internet!

This Nagel's going to hang in my office. It will be perfect. I will be adored by co-workers. I can't wait.

The official inaugural ceremony will be held in October.

You know, back in the late 80s, I remember thinking Patrick Nagel's work was so cheesy. I speculate my unappreciation stemmed from simple oversaturation. It seemed like every teenager and mother in Chinatown had a print in their room.

Today, I embrace Nagel's work and take delight in his images. All the women in his pictures have suddenly become fresh in a postmodern way. Maybe that's why I like Nagel now. It's amazing how your perspective changes within the context of your most current existence.

Damn, I'm deep. Do you think I sound like a philosopher? Maybe I should consider that for my next career change...

How I commemorated 9/11

Let's see. In the morning, I turned off NPR because all the topics revolved around the anniversary of 9/11. Yeah, it was a quiet morning.

When I perused the paper, I skipped all the headlines about 9/11. So I had a quick read.

As I searched the internet, I grew so tired of banal images intended to put people in hysteria:


Thankfully, by the evening, I was saved. The Los Angeles and Valley area campaign for a Department of Peace and Nonviolence hosted a screening of the 1982 film classic, Gandhi, in celebration of 100 years of non-violence and the birth of the non-violence movement in 1906. When I learned about the screening through the LA Weekly, I really felt it was appropos to attend... and I am really glad I went. Gandhi is my new hero.
If you haven't seen this movie yet, you must. Put it on your Netflicks queue. Buy and own it.

The movie was long, like 3 1/2 hours, and even had an actual intermission, but the story was so captivating that my ADD brain didn't mind. The movie fortunately helped fill in many blanks of my limited knowledge of the Indian Independence Movement and the subsequent partition of India and Pakistan.

The performers were excellent, and so was the art direction/cinematography. The scenes of non-violent civil disobedience were so powerful. Gandhi was right when he said non-violent resistance is not passive.

“You can chain me, you can torture me, you can even destroy this body, but you will never imprison my mind.”

Dude, I can go on and on why I love this movie. But most importantly, I learned more about Gandhi. This man is awesome!

After the screening, I felt so inspired. The belief that one person can make a difference rekindled in me. Considering humankind's barbaric history and current hyperactive culture toward violence, it seems impossible, almost mythical, that a movement of non-violence gained Indian independence from the almighty British Empire. It's crazy.

“The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world's problems”


In addition to Mahatma Gandhi's acute strategic and organizing skills, as well as being a saavy lawyer, I admire him for his commitment to live his life the way he thought was right. It's so hard to do. It really is. I struggled for many years to live in a way that was more aligned with my politics and beliefs (particulary with regards to consumerism), but found myself defeated each time.

“The Roots of Violence: Wealth without work, Pleasure without conscience, Knowledge without character, Commerce without morality, Science without humanity, Worship without sacrifice, Politics without principles”

Gandhi chose to live a simple, self-sustaining life and practiced for many years to make himself into the person he wanted to be. I'm sure he failed at times, because he's human. Just the fact he made an effort everyday of his adult life to live consciously and deliberately resonates deep value within me.

"Be the change you want to see in the world."

I think DYY is ready for her own personal transformation. Don't laugh, I'm serious. In fact, the first thing I did when I got home was purchase The Essential Gandhi: An Anthology of his Writings on His Life, Work, and Ideas over Amazon. I guess I want Gandhi to continue to inspire and motivate me as I revive my long-abandoned pursuits to live life consciously and deliberately.

“Men often become what they believe themselves to be. If I believe I cannot do something, it makes me incapable of doing it. But when I believe I can, then I acquire the ability to do it even if I didn't have it in the beginning.”

What I've been listening to on my ipod

That's right, bitches, I have been listening to Stevie-fucken-B! He brings me back, way back. I'm talking junior high, folks. Oh yeah.

I think he is best known among my peers from immigrant communities... especially from Chinese, Filipino and Latino populations. We all love him. Some may deny their love, but deep down, there is true love.

Here's a his bio:
A native of South Florida, he worked a variety of dead-end jobs ranging from car-wash attendant to fast-food server before scoring his debut hit with 1987's "Party Your Body," which grew from a regional success to national club smash; it was also the title track of his 1988 debut LP, which went gold. With 1989's In My Eyes, Stevie B. launched his first Top 40 hit, "I Wanna Be the One"; its follow-up, "Love Me for Life," soon cracked the Top 40 as well.

With 1990's "Because I Love You," he reached the pinnacle of his success, with the single's accompanying album Love & Emotion also generating a pair of Top 20 hits, "I'll Be by Your Side" and the title cut. However, with the subsequent rise of alternative rock, Stevie B.'s light dance-pop sound lost much of its mainstream appeal, and he never again recaptured his previous success, with records including 1992's Healing and 1996's Waiting for Your Love appearing to little notice. The Best of Stevie B. followed in 1998.

Here's his picture.
Yummy, huh?

Seoul Brothers

The guys from The Kims of Comedy (they now call themselves Seoul Brothers) performed at a fundraiser for the Asian American Drug Abuse Program (AADAP) this past Saturday evening. They were awesome! I think I have serious crushes on all of them. Like I can't even rank who I would like better because I like them all for different reasons. I wonder would they be interested in a five-way comedy match. I wonder if I could beat them.

Although the Brothers used about 75% of the same material that was the DVD, I really enjoyed watching them live. Also, AADAP seems like such a great organization. They have been in the community and helping victims of drug abuse for 33 years! So, of course, the refreshments served after the concert were cake and punch. Respectful and so cute. In fact, I stood in solidarity with AADAP members because I too was sober for the entire evening, and still had a fabulous time. It's good to be high on life, although I firmly believe life is better with drugs. But for that night, even without Square One Organic Vodka, I felt social AND socially-conscious. Holla!

Good news for my alcoholic friends

Square One Vodka is the world's first certified organic vodka.

Their motto is, We're social and socially conscious.

I think they may need a catchier catch-phrase, but what a pretty bottle, huh?

Check out where you can purchase your own Square One and be social AND socially conscious!

Privatization of Public Space

As a cautionary measure, the Olympic National Park requires all campers on the beach to store food in bear cans to prevent bears and racoons from destroying your camp and lovely camp experience. Since most visitors rarely have bear cans handy on them, the Park usually provides them free of charge.

Not any more!

When Tonkhero went to retrieve a bear can from the office, Ranger Ian asked him for a $3 donation. Tonk said no, as he already paid a $25 entrance fee to enter the grounds (it used to be free) and a $9 fee to camp (it used to be free). But Ranger Ian continued to press Tonk for the three bucks. Ranger Ian became increasingly angry as he argued that the Park employees are basically volunteers, making $10 a day or something piddling like that. He argued that it was these "volunteers" that kept the bathrooms clean, and the area habitable for campers like us. Tonk, who was also getting increasingly angry, responded that he already paid the necessary fees, and also his federal taxes, and that it was the federal government who has failed to allocate tax money for the rangers' services and, instead, squandered the money to construct new roads accessible for RVs, who consequently contribute more waste to the Park versus backpackers like us who barely make a dent on the campground. Tonk continued, why don't you ask RV campers for an additional fee? This is a gradual attempt to have visitors accustomed to paying fees for public spaces so when private companies take over and make the Park into Disneyland, we won't have a problem paying. Why don't you lobby your representatives in Congress to pay you a fair salary and keep public land public?

Please keep in mind I was not privy to this conversation. I was sitting in the parking lot eating potato chips and enjoying the sun. This was told to me by Tonk, when he returned in a huff.

We learned a couple of days later, Tonk's name now appears on a blacklist with the Park, along with a comment that says, "Camper refuses to pay fee for bear can."

At first I didn't see the big deal... until I was in the security line at the Seattle-Tacoma Airport on route home to LA. I noticed a special "express line" near the security line entrance that was also managed by federal TSA employees. The sign above the express line stated that only the following persons were permitted to use this line:

• people with no carry-on bags
  
• people with disabilities
• on-duty employees (although I don't quite understand why on-duty employees would need to use this express line)
• Alaska Air Members
• American Airlines Advantage Members

What the fuck?

Needless to say, I was very perturbed. Although, I must say, the Sea-Tac Airport is one of the cleanest airports I have ever been to. The airport stores are very upscale and the women's bathrooms have toliet seat covers. Plus, check out the public art at Sea-Tac:

Photo by DYY

I miss you too!

This is one of my best friends, Dead Boy in a Bun ("DBB"). Although I'm better known as "DYY", we gave each other nicknames of DBB (I'm "Dead Bitch in a Bun"). It's a literal translation of a figurative term that Cantonese parents often use when they address their kids. The term can be used condescendingly or endearingly. It's kind of like the "N" word, which could be used negatively or positively, depending on the context of the situation or the intention of the speaker. Yeah, I know. Don't ask me why Cantonese parents call their children a name that is equivalent to the "N" word. It's just the way it is. We communicate like that.

So DBB has abandoned his family in Los Skandelous to hustle in Shanghai, China. He's developing ad campaigns for high-profile companies in preparation for the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing. Damn him for leaving us. But I'm proud of him. He is doing so so good out in SHANGHIGH.

I'm just hating because he's in an electrifying city like NYC but profuse with Chinese people... so it's even better. And I miss him a whole bunch too. *Sniffle*

Alien baby revealed

Mother Nature and Me

Photo by DYY

In celebration of our nation's labor, I traveled to the Pacific Northwest (the Olympic Peninsula, to be precise) for some camping and outdoor festivities. During this trip, DYY and Mother Nature were total BFFs.I followed the advice of this hand-made pillow we found in our room of this kitchy-cute but low-rent motel in Port Angeles where we stayed before venturing into the wilderness.

As a Student of Nature, I learned so much in only a few days. I can't even contain all that I have absorbed. I feel like a tree during photosynthesis... and below is my sugar.

DYY's Top Twelve List of New Things Taught by Mother Nature

(12) SEA OTTERS ARE SO COOL

Thanks to a free pamphet distributed by the Olympic National Park Service, I learned that sea otters are really fuckin cool. What struck me most wasn't that they are super useful in preserving kelp forests by feeding on sea urchins that graze on kelp, but that they can grow up to five feet tall and weigh up to 60-100 pounds! Dude, I'm 5'4'' and 100 something pounds. So, a sea otter is like a prepubescent tween, but (presumably) lacks the tweeny attitude that makes you want to slap tweens in the face.

Unfortunately, I did not see one. I was bummed. Because if I had, I would ask it to join our camp and chill out with us. I could see the sea otter and I sharing a joint under the stars. Don't they seem like they would get high if they could? Dude, there's a reason why they're always backfloating...

I also learned ways to help our new furry friends.

(11) TROLLS DO LIVE IN TREES

I woke this one up when I tried peeing in the hole. Oops.

(10) RAINFORESTS AREN'T AS SCARY AS THEY SEEM

Photos by Tonkhero & DYY

(9) SLUGS ARE AS UGLY AS THEY SEEM (BUT STILL NEAT)

I wanted to videotape the slug but it was going so slow and I got bored. It's really gross looking, by the way. It looks like a slivering turd. Speaking of turds...

(8) ANIMAL TRACKS AND SCATS ARE MORE INTERESTING THAN HUMAN TRACKS AND SCATS

Pictured above is Elk skat. Upon cursory examination, Tonkhero labeled it right away. God, he is so smart.

(7) CAMPING CAN BE EXHAUSTING

I had to take a nap once we found our campsite. It is incredible how exhausted I was. I think the local store in Port Angeles added some rufies in my tuna sandwich. And this whole time, I thought the town was known for meth... boy, was I wrong.

(6) THE LOGGING INDUSTRY IS FUCKED UP

As we drove through the mountains on route to the Peninsula, we saw first hand the ecological destruction of clearcuts and logging on the environment. It's quite alarming and real ugly, and apparently, horrible on the ecosystem. Tonkhero and I had a very long discussion about it during our car ride, and I was fortunate to apply what we discussed by personally witnessing the devastation and its accompanying propaganda by the logging industry. It's crazy. For more info, check this out.

(5) SMOKED SALMON AND OTHER SNACKS TASTE BETTER OUTDOORS

I don't quite understand this phenomenon, but it's true. I have a feeling that I would not have enjoyed Washington State's speciality of Smoked Wild Sockeye Salmon quite as much if I had consumed it in my living room. Tom's jalapeno chips, sugar glazed oatmeal cookies, Tasty Bites (packets of Indian entrees that you add boiling water and voila!), smores, peaches, goldfish crackers, etc., were all so so good. Tonkhero did a good job shopping for food. I couldn't stop eating. But then again, what else could we do? There's nothing else out there but you, Mother Nature, and preserved treats and goodies!

(4) PEEING OUTDOORS IS BETTER THAN PEEING AT THE PARK'S PUBLIC RESTROOMS

And forget about shitting! The public bathrooms were gross. That is why we had to travel to the closest town (Forks, WA) for me to do Number Two. After all the eating I described above, I really needed to go!

As a city girl, I find rural towns to be refreshing and charming at times... and you can find the best vintage earrings at some of their second-hand stores. But not at Forks. One could recognize immediately that Forks was a once-thriving logging community that the industry has abandoned due to its depressed economy. That's what Tonkhero said anyway.

One cool thing about Forks is this Chinese restaurant called Golden Gate Restaurant. Owned by Cantonese proprietors, I believe they gave me extra MSG in my chicken fried rice. Score! And the cutest eight-year old boy, very chubby and precocious, worked the register. Oh, how chinese child labor brings back sweet memories of my own childhood! I hope that boy grows up to do great things in Forks, WA.

(3) A CAMPFIRE IS KEY TO ANY CAMPING EXPERIENCE

We had a fire each night. The one pictured above was at the beach. I had collected enough wood that night to have a fire last for several hours. It was great fun, to see the fire illuminate the pitch black darkness and to be hypnotized by the wild flames. It was interesting to learn how to control the intensity of the flame by how you stack the wood, and to examine which wood would burn at what rate. That night, I developed a sincere appreciation for the types of wood we have available on this earth. Yeah, and I'm also a slight pyro...

(2) THE BEACH IS SURROUNDED BY ROCKS

This is your brain on drugs. SAY NO TO DRUGS. Thank you.

Instead of sand, the ocean crashed against rocks. Because there are so many rivers in the forests, a countless number of rocks are streamed from the rivers to the ocean via rainfall. There is not enough time for the rocks to naturally grind into sand because there are so many rocks and so much rainfall. Hence, a beach filled with cool clean rocks and pebbles. I've never seen anything like it. It was pretty awesome.

(1) CAMPING ON THE BEACH IS THE ABSOLUTE BEST!!

Photo by DYY

If you haven't tried it, you must. It's the tops!