I can't decide

which video is my favorite for the moment.

This one was a random find of Jane's. WOW.




I know this one is old. But it still makes me laugh.
"SHE'S HUMAN. LEAVE HER ALONE. SHE'S NOT WELL NOW."

Friends for Judas

Do you remember my pal, Judas?

For a long while, his only friends (beside me) were:

Buddha

Ganesh

Lady of Guadalupe

They even dated for a while, but she broke up with him because... well, let's just say, she wasn't quite satisfied...

and last but not least,

Pure White, but his dirty ass moved to NYC.

So Judas' social support network has diminished quite a bit. Fortunately, Wal-Mart has come to the rescue. This month, Wal-Mart stores nationwide will begin carrying faith-based toys from One2believe that target parents who would rather that their kids play with a Samson action figure than a Spider-Man action figure.

Hey, maybe Judas and Jesus can make amends now...

Oooh, perhaps a new girlfriend for the Big J?

Can someone please buy me the Moses doll? It's awesome. By the way, is it me or Moses has crossed eyes? Dude, even better.

Believe or not...

DYY with child??

A Lowenbrau Moment

Balcony view from Parks BBQ on Vermont
Photo by Mr. T

During a toast for Jane's birthday, I felt a fleeting moment of:

Here's to Good Friends..
Tonight is Kind of Special...

But I totally forgot the rest of the lyrics. I knew it was a beer commercial though. In fact, I pictured a group of teenagers drinking this mysterious beverage by the fire at a ski lodge. And two lumberjacks at a random hillbilly bar, clicking their beer bottles to toast their secret love for one another. Do you remember? Or am I making this up? I can't be sure. Anyway, it was Calvin who said "Lowenbrau" after I recited the first two lines.

Calvin was like, Have you ever tasted Lowenbrau? I was like, No.

So I found the rest of the lyrics on rockin' Wiki.

In the 1970s and 1980s in the United States, Löwenbräu was famous for its jingle, sung by Arthur Prysock:

Here's to good friends,

Tonight is kind of special.

The beer we'll pour

must say something more, somehow.

So tonight (tonight),

Tonight,

Let it be Lowenbrau (let it be Lowenbrau).

It's been so long.

Hey, I'm glad to see ya.

Raise your glass.

Here's to health and happiness.

So tonight (tonight),

Let it be all the best.

Special Celebrity Sighting

I come back from lunch and guess who I see in front of my office building?

That's right... it's fucken Borat, bitches! Thank god I had my camera with me as I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Sasha Baron Cohen and should have asked to take a picture with him but he was surrounded by his crew... and I was timid around his majestic presence.

Here's a picture of Borat's ass... I like!

Remember the Corey's?

Damn! Here's my one and only advice to white people:
SAY NO TO DRUGS! For real.

Just want to share a pretty picture of the girls

This picture was taken last summer, almost exactly one year ago, circa 2006. We were out for Min's birthday... and she has another crazy one coming up! We need to remember to take another group picture, in the exact same order if possible.

Proof that Tron arrived in China

He brought his girlfriends with him!

The worst summer flooding in years has claimed more than 400 lives and wreaked billions of dollars in damage in central China. Here in the villages around Dongting Lake, rising waters have brought a plague of biblical proportions: an invasion of 2 billion mice.

Tron emerges from China

Tron provided the group with an update on his adventures in Shanghai. Here is an excerpt, because I think it is funny.

so many stories but one of the gems that harkim took us to was this place called "movie world" where you can get cheap pirated dvd's. but we didn't end up going there, we went to the store across the street called "even better than movie world", because you know.. it's even better! literally across the street from the other place! that's some pure fucking chinese shit man. i mean you know you're in china when people sound like they're totally arguing, but you know they aren't because they're really just having a regular conversation. total switch from japan where it's like pretty quiet everywhere and you can't answer your cell phone on the bus or train.

That is really some pure fucking Chinese shit... I love it!

How to Tell If a Woman Really Loves You

Don't you love it when you search the web for one thing, and then find something else totally weird and random?

HOW TO TELL IF A WOMAN REALLY LOVES YOU

She has eyes only for you. You can tell if your woman really loves you when many hunky and sexy men surround you but she doesn't take a second to even look at any of them. She gives you her full attention by showing eye contact, smiling and facing her body towards you.

She answers your calls. You know if a woman is interested when she answers your calls every time. It is a wonderful sign if she also answers the phone by the second ring. You may find yourself spending hours on the phone talking and giggling with her about life.

She agrees to meet with you every time you ask her out. She wouldn't love you if she didn't want to see you as much as you want to see her.

She wants to go places and do things. She is not ashamed to be out in public with you. She wants to explore the world with you and do fun activities. For example, going to the movies, out to dinner, to a concert or amusement park.

She does things for you. She invests energy in pleasing and making you feels happy. For example, she will bake you cookies, invite you over for dinner or offers to rub your back.

She flirts with you. You can tell if she loves you when she constantly laughs at everything you say, touches you frequently and gives you that special look of love.

She wants to date only you. You know she is serious about you when she has verbally asked if dating each other can be exclusive. You are number one to her and all the other men in the world mean nothing.

She tells you "I love you." You can't get more straightforward than this. When she tells you those three special words she wants to take the relationship a little farther and get more serious.

SORRY, BUT WHOEVER WROTE THIS IS A DOUCHE BAG.

Amen

Make your own church sign!

In other news...

So many things happening in the world today. So many things I would love to write about. And what do I choose to feature?

Castleberry's Hot Dog Chili Sauce is linked to BOTULISM. Four people were hospitalized as a result, but are expected to live despite debilitating symptoms, such as double or blurred vision, drooping eyelids, slurred speech, difficulty swallowing, dry mouth and muscle weakness that moves down the body, leading to eventual paralysis that can cause a person to stop breathing and die, unless supported by a ventilator.

That is truly fucked up. To endure all that just because you wanted to spice up your hot dog. Stick to ketchup and mustard yo. Peace.

My apologies

Sorry y'all. Just busy with life. It's all good. Will post more real soon.

I just posted on Grub Club though. Enjoy!

When dreams come true

This is one of DBB's contributions to the upcoming 2008 Olympics!

Weekend story #2

Lady Pun in deep thoughts...

So a few of us hiked the trail at Bear Canyon in the San Gabriel Mountains today. It was an intense five hour hike, mainly due to the heat and lack of water on the return back. But like usual, Mother Earth is absolutely beautiful and wondrous so it's all good.

As we migrate toward the creek, we pass a group of older Asian people, maybe in their 50's or 60's, sitting at a picnic bench. There are about four men and two women. We pass them and say hello, even kind of bow our heads a little because, you know, we're taught to respect our elders. Then one of the men says with a smirk (and speaks only to the woman in our group, by the way), "Hey, are you going swimming? Did you pack your swimsuits? Let's see your swimsuits!"

We continue walking, speechless and of course grossed out.

Fuck! We were totally disarmed by their race and age. I hate when that happens.

Weekend story #1

Art near restrooms...

On Friday we met this dude at Mandrake who owns this denim company called UBI Jeans. His name is Ubi in fact and it's short for "ubiquitous" he tells us. As UBI specializes in women's jeans, Ubi says, "My job is to make your ass look good." I say, oh yeah? So you must have names for different categories of asses? He says yes. I turn around and stick my ass out and say, what would you call this ass? Without hesitation, he says JUICY!

Hilarious.

I respond, right on. Then I ask him to label Lady Pun's. He immediately says BA-DONK-KA-DONK!

And for readers unfamiliar with Lady Pun's ass, let's just say, the description is perfect!

Just wanna say wassup

Thanks to Thomas for giving me the giggles on a Friday afternoon...

Farewell Little Brother

He's first off to Asia, then back to Calgary.
I'm going to miss the little pervert.

Seven years in Los Scandelous. It's an end of an era.

Happy Father's Day

to YIP YEE, the best father in the world. And I'm not saying this because he's my dad. He really is. Look it up if you don't believe me.

Peace out to all the big poppas out there!

Stay Tuned

Hi everyone. I´m in Lima, Peru right now so I have limited access to a computer. I´m going to be in Lima for four more days, then off hiking the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu. I promise to give reports when I can. Until then, hasta luego baby!