Thursday, November 20, 2008

I'm going to learn to kill

Yes, it is true. At a silent auction fundraiser during Disability Legal Rights Center's annual gala (our campaign received an award!), I acquired a 3 month self-defense membership to Krav Maga Worldwide. For those of you who don't know, Krav Maga is the official combat system of the Israeli Defense Force. They train you to kill.

I initially bid as a joke. I've been meaning to take a self-defense class. Tonkhero suggested Krav Maga. I know he was just joking, but I've been thinking about it ever since. When I learned that Krav Maga classes were being auctioned, and then discovered the starting bid was only $100 for a membership valued at $751, I was like, what the heck. The money is going to a good cause and I get to learn to kill.

I was excited to see that no one had bid for Krav Maga yet. I wrote in my bid and then went see another item of interest: A swag bag from NBC Universal Beijing Olympics (opening ceremony dvd, Beijing military hat (?), MSNBC water bottle, Beijing pin, NBC golf balls, Beijing Nike Golf Shirt, Beijing Men's Fleece). I wanted to get the Beijing-swag for my dad. So I satisfactorily placed the minimum bid for the B-swag, then searched for the server with the spring rolls. When I returned, only seconds later, I am out-bidded for the B-swag. I stood there conflicted about whether I should increase my bid... the highest bid now exceeded its original value ($171.93). Of course my cheap Chinese ass decided to let the B-swag go (I regret it now). I immediately and anxiously returned to the table with the Krav Maga bid. Of course I discovered someone placed a higher bid on this too. As I begun to feel like silent auctions are rigged, a faint bell rang from the background and someone announced that the silent auction is about to end. I then instinctually and frantically place a much higher bid for the Krav Maga, just in time before the volunteer turned over the bid sheet and said, sorry miss, the auction is over.

Dude. You'd think I'd be happy winning lessons to kill. But I started to feel buyer's remorse. I felt like that nerdy attorney guy who won the Olympics swag bag (and my colleague who successfully bid for a 7-day Royal Caribbean cruise for two to Alaska for $1600!) got a better deal. I don't know. I can't tell. It happened so fast. I felt slightly hysteric.

But now I'll know what to do in an hostage situation:

1 comment:

divinestyler said...

dude, this will come in handy when you have a dispute with homies and they threaten to kick your ass. no longer do you have to cower in fear, you got krav maga power!