Kikikikiki

Update on Struvites

This is an email to my co-workers in response to "Hey, have you heard from xxx yet?"

So after being ignored for several weeks, I call xxx and demand a status on my claim. Fortunately I have been sufficiently trained by our members on how to make such a request.

The Senior Claims Manager regrettably informs me that my struvite samples got LOST on route to the Quality Assurance Department. Like most urine samples, I guess the struvites eventually decomposed and evaporated into thin air.

The SCM then asks for my last sample (still in an air-tight envelope in my possession). I said NO WAY! Then she suggests that I conduct home experiments to determine the nature of the substance. She suggests:

• Examine the substance to see if it's shaped like a crystal or a piece of glass

(I told her it looks like a piece of glass)

• Try crushing the substance with your fingers

(I responded that the "substance" cut my mouth, I doubt I would want to crush it with my bare hands)

• Pour hot water or vinegar on the substance to see if it dissolves

(I said um, no, thank you)

So she is now getting the corporate manufacturer to arrange for a third party to retrieve and investigate the final sample I have.

The struvite saga continues… I better get at least a nominal gift certificate for this...

New BFFs

Venezuela said on Saturday it was working on a raft of oil deals with China, giving impetus to President Hugo Chavez's attempts to break his country's dependence on oil exports to the United States.

"The United States as a power is on the way down, China is on the way up. China is the market of the future," said Chavez.

Why hate St. Jude?

So my sister-in-law kindly emails me... but with very, very bad news.

Remember that giant mural of St. Jude on 26th St? Someone had the audacity to paint over it!!! That Jesus-like image (non-christian/catholic folks like me called him Jesus) was a pseudo cultural landmark of Bridgeport/Chinatown. It's been there since I was born at least. Paint me shocked. I swore you had a blog entry about it, but couldn't find it. Anyway, what used to be the Hungry Hound is now a Mexican place...they painted the logo over St. Jude. It's hideous. We can't find our digital camera, otherwise you'd get a pic.

What a travesty. It's not like the perpetrators even replaced St. Jude with something better, like this:

Let's all smoke in memory of St. Jude.
May he live in our hearts and minds forever.

Favorite lyrics at the moment

Yes, it's by my girl Amy Winehouse.
This song is entitled FUCK ME PUMPS. It's even better sung by her.

When you walk in the bar,
And you dressed like a star,
Rockin' your F me pumps.

And the men notice you,
With your Gucci bag crew,
Can't tell who he's lookin' to.

Cuz you all look the same,
Everyone knows your name,
And that's your whole claim to fame.

Never miss a night,
Cuz your dream in life,
Is to be a footballers wife.
You don't like players,
That's what you say-a,
But you really wouldn't mind a millionaire.

You don't like ballers,
They don't do nothing for ya,
But you'd love a rich man six foot two or taller.

You're more than a fan,
Lookin' for a man,
But you end up with one-nights-stands.

He could be your whole life,
If you got past one night,
But that part never goes right.

In the morning you're vexed,
He's onto the next,
And you didn't even get no taste.

Don't be too upset,
If they call you a skank,
Cuz like the news everyday you get pressed.

You can't sit down right,
Cuz your jeans are too tight,
And your lucky its ladies night.

With your big empty purse,
Every week it gets worse,
At least your breasts cost more than hers.

So you did Miami,
Cuz you got there for free,
But somehow you missed the plane.

You did too much E,
Met somebody,
And spent the night getting caned.

Without girls like you,
There'd be no fun,
We'd go to the club and not see anyone.

Without girls like you,
There's no nightlife,
All those men just go home to their wives.

Don't be mad at me,
Cuz you're pushing thirty,
And your old tricks no longer work.

You should have known from the job,
That you always get dumped,
So dust off your fuck me pumps

Here's another called ADDICTED. This is classic.

Tell your boyfriend next time he around
To buy his own weed and don't wear my shit down
I wouldn't care if bro would give me some more
I'd rather him leave you then leave him my draw

When you smoke all my weed man
You gotta call the green man
So I can get mine and you get yours

Once is enough to make me attack
So bring me a bag and your man can come back
I'll check him at the door make sure he got green
I'm tighter than airport security teams

When you smoke all my weed man
You gotta call the green man
So I can get mine and you get yours

I'm my own man so when will you learn
That you got a man but I got to burn
Don't make no difference if I end up alone
I'd rather have myself a smoke my homegrown
It's got me addicted, does more than any dick did

Totally, totally bummed

I was suppose to see Amy Winehouse perform at Spaceland tonight. Queen Bee, the woman who hardly goes out on a school night and is usually asleep by 9 pm, was going to accompany me too.

But Bitch cancelled her show! WTF!! Perez Hilton, the notorious gossip gangsta, reports that Amy often cancels shows because she's recovering from a night of hard partying. Dude, I report to work everyday, despite nights of hard partying. Amy needs to learn from DYY. Of course she probably doesn't need the money as bad as I do. Hence, I go to work hungover while Amy is chillin at home watching cartoons and eating caviar and shit.

I'm still lucky though. On Friday night, I went to see Peter Kruder (of Kruder & Dorfmeister) dj at King King. IT WAS AMAZING. He dj-ed from 12:30 am until 4 am! We stayed until closing and continued the festivities at Little Panda's place. Such good times! It ruined me for the rest of the weekend, but I returned (groggy) to work on Monday, unlike Amy...

Speaking of bong hits 4 Jesus...

I'm reminded of how I promised Blu-tooth that I would blog about WITNESS LEE and WATCHMAN NEE, founders of her church and the "Recovery Movement."

I discovered these two gentlemen are very popular (they're even on WIKI!) as I found many websites devoted to analyzing, critiquing, supporting or debunking their teachings of Christ. In fact, I was not prepared to find so much information. My brain totally shut down (I think it's a defense mechanism actually). Like the dork I am, I had wanted to blog about Witness and Watchman only because I thought their names were funny. But everything about them is quite serious and not funny at all... except hymns homeboys wrote on their own!! I am so pleased to find them. Here's a prized example:

All sinners are the slaves of sin,
All poisoned by death's sting;
Christ only can from sin and death
A full deliverance bring.
He is the Everlasting One,
Who longs to set us free;
If we do not believe in Him,
We'll die in misery.

I would LOVE it if Blu-tooth lulled me to sleep with this hymn. I bet I would sleep like a baby.

If it's not FREE, at least it's AWESOME

The Supreme Court heard oral arguments today regarding a First Amendment free speech case that involved the banner above. OMG. These kids are AWESOME!

Here's the skinny:

The case involves Joseph Frederick, a then 18-year-old high school senior in Alaska who was suspended for 10 days after displaying a "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" banner across the street from his high school during the Winter Olympics Torch Relay in 2002. When he and his friends displayed the banner, then-principal Deborah Morse ran across the street and seized it. Morse initially suspended Frederick for five days for violating the school district's anti-drug policy, but increased the suspension to 10 days after he refused to give the names of his fellow participants and quoted Thomas Jefferson on free speech.

Again, this kid is AWESOME.

Does he look like a mastermind to you?

The FBI just reported that Khalid Sheikh Mohammed confessed to "masterminding" the 9/11 attacks and other awful atrocities including beheading American journalist Daniel Pearl. His statement was made after FOUR YEARS of illegal detainment (and interrogation and torture) in Guantanamo Bay.

I don't know. Seems dubious to me.

Yet another 10 year anniversary

Today marks the 10th anniversary of Biggie's death. He was gunned down on the corner of Fairfax and Wilshire, only a couple of blocks from where I reside, after attending a Soul Train Music Awards after-party at the Peterson Automotive Museum. I believe the LAPD has yet to resolve the case and determine his murderer(s).

I remember hearing the news that day and feeling sad. Biggie was one of the best hip hop lyricists EVER. Whether you're a hip hop fan or not, no true music aficionado's collection is complete without Biggie's "Ready to Die." At the ripe age of 24, Biggie's death is a monumental loss in hip hop. No one has even come close to the talents this man had. His legacy remains.

Happy International Women's Day!

(Please note that I started this post on the date indicated above but sadly was too busy to finish it. Don't get confused, ok? I don't want you going around wishing women a happy day and looking foolish and ignorant. You should have done that last Thursday, though it's a good thing to greet someone in the spirit of feminism. Anyway, thank you for your patience.)

To my Sisters in the struggle, this is OUR day. You are special and beautiful, and DYY loves you very much. So shine, bitches, shine!

In celebration of OUR day, a group of my female friends (including Tron, of course) and I went to check out Andrea Zittel's CRITICAL SPACE exhibit at the MOCA Geffen Contemporary. She's the featured artist of WACK! Art and the Feminist Revolution, the latest big exhibition at MOCA. I attended the member's party last Saturday. Le Tigre was dj'ing and they were cool and all but it was fucken crazy crowded and we had to wait in line for a long while before we were allowed to enter the museum to see the exhibition. To my chagrin (since I don't do lines anymore, well, not those types of lines), most of the art and artists were uninspiring... EXCEPT Andrea Zittel who is amazing and is my absolute favorite artist at the moment. Seriously, I wish I could be her.

Andrea was even better and more inspiring the second time around. I encourage everyone to check out her exhibit. You will be in awe.

For a far better description, check out her biography here. But this is why I adore her: She incorporates art in her everyday life and challenges that life with her art. She pushes our conception and construction of time and physical space. For example, she would create these tiny living spaces that incorporate a bedroom, bathroom, or whatever, and maximize the space so that every inch is utilitarian and functional, yet super designy and modern... so when you look at it, you think to yourself, damn this space is small, but I think I can live like this because everything looks so cute and comfortable.

Did you know that many of her structures can be folded into a trunk (which I had not noticed the first time)? Not only does she challenge the fallacy that bigger is better, she also believes in self-sustainable living and makes all her own very stylish clothes, furniture and architecture.

I am once again inspired to learn how to sew! I wish I knew how to make cool shit. Since her exhibit, I have also been thinking philosophically about my own lifestyle and my perpetual quest to downsize and minimize in order to truly expand and maximize. It's a struggle, man... but I've come to realize that the creativity and adaptivity that derives from such a struggle is really amazing and quite fulfilling. It's a natural high.

I can really go on and on about Andrea's pieces as she's quite prolific and diverse. But I know I'm not doing her any justice so visit her website for a glimpse of her genius. By the way, Andrea's a part-time resident of Joshua Tree and creates a majority of her art and conducts experiments there. Now do you see why I want to be this bitch?

Reunions

I generally have no interest in reunions organized by academic institutions. Cared less about my high school and college ones. Didn't even know when they occurred. Definately not going to my law school one. In fact, I try to avoid communication altogether with my law school, but they always seem to successfully track my place of employment (it's the California Bar's fault) and send me endless information via US and electronic mail. Once in a while, they call me at work... probably to solicit a donation that, haven't they realized, I will NEVER give because I FUCKEN HATE THEM? Fortunately, I have an assistant who screens all my calls. Just the other day, I advised her that when I receive mail from UCLAW, immediately throw it in the recycler. Thank you.

But this posting isn't about how much I despise UCLAW though I can go on and on.

This past weekend, the Asian American Studies Program at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign celebrated its 10th anniversary. This means that a little shy of 10 years ago, Asian American Studies did not exist at U of I. And since I graduated a little shy of 10 years ago (fuck!), I unfortunately was not a benefactor. Nor were my friends:

"Old Skool Gang" circa 1997

Asian Pacific Islanders were (and probably still are) the largest minority group on campus, yet we were the only racial minority group that lacked a formal orientation program, a studies program and a cultural center. The administration labled us an "overrepresented minority."

A fucken oxymoron, that's what we were.

Despite relentless demands to the contrary, we were often ignored and silenced. It wasn't fair and definately discriminatory. But we students persisted, and learned to be creative and self-reliant.

Ms. Vida (far right female pictured above) created a formal orientation program for new Asian American students called "Asiantation" that I believe continues today. We created our own alumni networks; scholarship/mentorship/award programs; cultural and political events; and leadership/activism conferences. We struggled to build coalitions and a collective consciousness among myriad API groups, all of which we felt obligated to assume leadership roles. Like Tupac said, it's all about you. And truly it was all about us, as it was clearly evident that U of I didn't give a shit about API students.

Despite not having a formal program, I believe there were two "trial" classes in my four years of attendence and I took both. One was an introductory course to Asian American history taught by a wonderful Filipina graduate student. My final paper was about Asian American beauty (or was it stereotypes in Asian beauty?). I also took an Asian American literature class. I don't recall the professor, but I do remember the small intimate class and how we really enjoyed such a unique space for class discussions. Dude, you have to check out the AAS courses now. I am so jealous.

Needless to say, I really wanted to attend this reunion. It wasn't possible for me, though a few of us did attend and reported back. The stories and pictures seem amazing, almost unbelievable that the students now have a full-fledged, university-sponsored studies program AND cultural center. At the same time, I can't believe we didn't have these services in the fairly recent past, and how API students across the nation protested and struggled and engaged in hunger strikes, just so that they could formally learn about our people's history and contributions in America.

Lastly, Vida said something in her very detailed report to us that is very important:

"One thing I said during the [alumni roundtable] panel was that I recall many of us said we would not donate money to the University for as long as: 1) there was no AA Studies; 2) there was no AA Cultural Center; 3) there was the Chief*. Well folks, as of a couple weeks ago, all those barriers have been removed. If you want you can donate to the Cultural Center and Studies Program - tax deductible. Asian American Alumni Network is working on clearing their tax deductible status. Also, I know that we’ve all thrown around the idea of possibly creating a scholarship. Now would be a possible time to start discussing that more?"

Well, I'm sure you can guess which institution will be giving me my next tax-deduction. GO ILLINI!

*OMG. Can you believe that about the Chief? I would have never imagined in my wildest dreams that U of I was gonna give up Chief Illiniwek and its retrograde racist ways. Thank god. Welcome to 2007 yo.

I'm doing it

It's official. Starting today for two months, I am now a lacto-ovo-pesco vegetarian. Excuse the latin. It means I still eat dairy, eggs and seafood. But no beef, pork, chicken, duck, etc. Blu-tooth has also decided to do this with me, but she's going to be strictly vegetarian. I'm actually excited and feel confident that it will not be difficult. I hope.

In preparation of the big day, I ate bacon all last weekend and had Korean BBQ for lunch yesterday. I had wanted to eat tacos from my favorite taco truck last night but Tron made dinner instead and made sure to include lots of meat. Of course that's how he regularly cooks.

Some have asked, why? Why forgo and deny myself the foods of the Gods? Besides the fact that vegetarianism is a more sustainable way of living, I'm just not interested in eating hormone-induced, genetically modified meats anymore. And I'm definately not going to eat cloned meats. So my goal is to try it for a couple of months to see how difficult it would be, if at all. I think it may be easier than we all think.