Why I Love Blacks

Dude, I was near USC tonight and saw that Inferno Affairs is playing at the Magic Johnson Theaters for late Friday and Saturday shows. This is why I love black people... because they appreciate Hong Kong gangster movies. And kung fu movies. And shrimp fried rice.

I say this in light of a recent opinion piece written by Kenneth Eng in Asian Week entitled, "Why I Hate Blacks."

It's pretty awful. But I'm more stunned and dismayed that Asian Week, a fairly political and (once) respected Asian American publication in the Bay Area, actually permitted the publication of Eng's piece. Sure, Asian Week issued an apology. But I think it's too late. Asian Week is fucked.

My first heavy metal concert

As a social experiment, I agreed to accompany Pure White to see the following bands:



Can you believe it? It was actually fun. Here are my keen observations:

1) Heavy metal enthusiasts have perfected the head nodding as well as the devil's horn hand sign.

I wish I could easily whip out a devil's horn sign but it's not instinctual for me. I actually have to think about it. And the head nodding... dude, who said white people don't have any rhythm? They do when they jam to heavy metal, that's for sure. But I do worry for their brains... all that nodding, especially the head twirl, cannot be good for the preservation of brain cells. For true enthusiasts, I recommend fish oil pills before attending a concert. Also, ear plugs are key.

2) Speaking of devil's horns, is that why every lead singer sounds like Satan? I'm sure it's no coincidence that Lamb of God sung a song entitled, "Take a Walk with Me in Hell."

3) There were only like ten women in attendence. When Pure White and I arrived at the Wiltern, I was the only person in the women's security line and had to wait for Jeff to be cleared. The lead singer of Machine Head also made a comment about naked heavy metal chicks... all 17 of us. Ironically, despite the lack of female presence, I still had to wait in line at the women's bathroom!

4) Mosh pits are fascinating. There's a certain synchronicity to the hyper-aggressive ritual. At first glance, it seems violent and scary. But after a while, you realize that, what all those stupid boys are doing is simply pushing each other in circles. I now see that moshing is actually a form of dance. In fact, I couldn't stop watching it from above. What's even more intriguing is whenever someone from the audience began to body surf on top of the crowd, the big black body guards in the front row would immediately stop it. Yet they never stopped the moshing. So it made me think that the Wiltern's liability insurance probably doesn't cover negligent falls from body surfing. Injuries from moshing, however, are probably cheaper to insure. God, I get sick when I realize how much I think like a lawyer.

Overall, my first heavy metal concert was enjoyable. I don't know if I would go again, but I'm glad I went. Thanks, Pure White!

Kind of bogus

The Academy yet again for the second year in a row chose the wrong picture for BEST PICTURE. I acknowledge that The Departed is a good film. And, yes, I enjoyed it very much. But is it really Oscar worthy when it's a RE-MAKE of a very well-known Hong Kong movie, INFERNAL AFFAIRS?

To me, The Departed seems less authentic and, therefore, less Oscar worthy. Also, Martin Scorsese pretty much copied the original movie scene for scene. Do you remember the last scene of Leonardo shot dead with the elevator door continuously trying to close but is blocked by Leonardo's feet? In the original, that's Tony Leung dead on the floor with his feet blocking the elevator door.

And yes, in the original, almost everyone dies by the end. I don't understand why everyone was so pleased that everyone dies in The Departed. They're like, wow, that's so original. I'm like, dude, that's how most Hong Kong action movies end. Big fucken deal. You better recognize.

I know what you're thinking... copying a good movie would still make a good movie, right? Perhaps. But Infernal Affairs is better because the directors as well as the actors were able to more accurately capture and convey the deep psyche of Cantonese cops and gangsters-- that (1) we, as complex human beings, are both good and bad at the same time and must struggle with that daily, especially when you're undercover, and (2) don't trust anyone, especially when you're undercover. I think Scorsese tried to convey this but it just wasn't enough. This blogger agrees with me, while this blogger actually gives a detailed side-by-side comparison of both movies.

Although I do not believe that The Departed is Oscar worthy, I think it's cool that Scorsese won. Poor old man, it's about time he wins!*

*Too bad for Peter O'Toole though. He was EXCELLENT in Venus, but I still rooted for Forest Whitaker, who was also EXCELLENT in The Last King of Scotland. It's kind of like how I rooted for Ruben Studdard over Clay Aiken even though both were pretty damn good. That's just the way life goes, I suppose.

It's on!

I don't normally just cut and paste but this one is so good... and by one of my favorite bloggers (a guilty pleasure)... the gossip gangsta himself, PEREZ HILTON:

That little muckraker!

Movie mogul David Geffen has stirred up a whirlwind of trouble in the Democratic party as a result of these comments he made in The New York Times about former President Bill Clinton and his wife Hilary.

Said Geffen, "Everybody in politics lies, but they [the Clintons] do it with such ease, it's troubling."

He added, "I don't think anybody believes that in the last six years, all of a sudden Bill Clinton has become a different person..

According to Geffen, Bill Clinton is "a reckless guy" who "gave his enemies a lot of ammunition to hurt him and to distract the country."

And as for Hilary? He says, "It's not a very big thing to say, 'I made a mistake' on the war, and typical of Hillary Clinton that she can't. She's so advised by so many smart advisers who are covering every base. I think that America was better served when the candidates were chosen in smoke-filled rooms."

He wasn't done with her yet, though.

More on Hilary!

Says Geffen, "Not since the Vietnam War has there been this level of disappointment in the behavior of America throughout the world, and I don't think that another incredibly polarizing figure, no matter how smart she is and no matter how ambitious she is -- and God knows, is there anybody more ambitious than Hillary Clinton? -- can bring the country together."

Not happy at all, Hilary's spokesperson released a statement criticizing both Geffen and Senator Barak Obama, Clinton's chief campaign rival and the recipient of a lot of money from Dreamworks' David.

Said the statement, "While Sen. Obama was denouncing slash and burn politics yesterday, his campaign's finance chair was viciously and personally attacking Sen. Clinton and her husband. If Sen. Obama is indeed sincere about his repeated claims to change the tone of our politics, he should immediately denounce these remarks, remove Mr. Geffen from his campaign and return his money. While Democrats should engage in a vigorous debate on the issues, there is no place in our party or our politics for the kind of personal insults made by Sen. Obama's principal fundraiser."

Barack, not one to shy away from confrontation, shot back.

Obama countered, "It's not clear to me why I'd be apologizing for someone else's remark. I have said repeatedly I have the utmost respect for Sen. Clinton and have considered her an ally in the Senate and will continue to consider it that way throughout this campaign."

And, making things even nastier, Barack's spokesperson said the following, "We aren't going to get in the middle of a disagreement between the Clintons and someone who was once one of their biggest supporters. It is ironic that the Clintons had no problem with David Geffen when [he] was raising them $18 million and sleeping at their invitation in the Lincoln bedroom. It is also ironic that Sen. Clinton lavished praise on Monday and is fully willing to accept today the support of South Carolina state Sen. Robert Ford, who said if Barack Obama were to win the nomination, he would drag down the rest of the Democratic Party because 'he's black.'"

Oh, shit. It's on!

And, it's only gonna get nastier from here!

Update

Commercial Zap is the bomb. No scrubbing required and the mold disappeared. Poof. Died and shit.

Let's pause for a moment to thank the golden pig for such a blessing.

Year of the Golden Pig -- It's hot pot time!

The MakJueYee House hosted its annual Chinese New Year Hot Pot Extravaganza on Sunday in celebration of the Golden Pig. Unfortunately, due to poor planning, we didn't purchase a roasted piglet like we wanted to. Still, we did have:

The Pig, which we later fried up as bacon for snacking, thx to Chef Inda:


And for the first time ever, our very own FOB sauce table with an incense fruit plate to boot! Don't you love the table cloth? It's perfect for fob-ing it up. What's even more brilliant is that under the table cloth is a mah jong table!


We celebrated with old friends:








And new ones:




And we even hosted children:



And of course we had entertainment:






And the oddities:

WTF?

Umar cooking Chinese food (and it was real good too!)

Me and my neck pillow that I wear around the house,
especially when I'm blogging!

Happy New Year! Oink, bitch.

Year of the Golden Pig -- Hey Mon!

Red, Golden and Green were the colors of the day at Ragga Muffins' Bob Marley Fest in Long Beach on Saturday. An all-day music festival with ten reggae groups, authentic Jamaican food, shopping and herbal therapy. An excellent way to celebrate new years eve. Yeah, Mon!

Since it's the Year of the Golden Pig, it is hardly a coincidence that while listening to NPR this afternoon, I learned that reggae is huge in Beijing now (this was semi-confirmed by DBB who said the music scene in Beijing is hot) and that, like most things, reggae and China go way back.

More importantly, NPR introduced me to Wang Lei, an indie rocker/dub/reggae Guangzhou original. That's right, bitches, this mofo is Cantonese too... and he's excellent. I heard a bit of his reggae on the radio and I was forwarded by the sounds. Check out his website for a sample. If you can read Chinese, you can easily navigate the website. And if so, please send some sounds to me!

Year of the Golden Pig -- The Return of DBB

My dear comrade DBB returned to Los Skandelous from Shanghai last Thursday night. His first request upon arrival was for pho. So here we are at Pho LA in Koreatown.

Gong Hay Fat Choy!!

Happy New Year! It's the Year of the Golden Pig... a supposedly very special year filled with wealth and riches. So you know my people are geeked.

True to its myth, the year of the golden pig has already begun auspiciously. So filled with fun and fortune that I separated the stories from start of the new year in several parts... enjoy!

Oink, bitch.

Killer mold?

IT STARTED with a series of leaks. Within a year, Melinda Ballard's 11,500-square-foot Texas dream home was quarantined; her 3-year-old son, Reese, was on daily medication to treat scarred, asthmatic lungs; her husband, Ron Allison, had lost his memory along with his job; and the family was living out of suitcases and locked in a seemingly endless battle with their insurance company. The problem? Household mold.

So I convinced Lady Pun and Tron that we must clean the house before Chinese new year. For good luck and shit. And, you know, it would be nice to live a clean house for a change. Anyway, we have a really disgusting mold problem in our bathroom. An army of mold covers the shower ceiling and it's steadily proliferating in the corners of the walls. It's really gnarly. But I had no idea how deadly mold can be. I mean, I heard about killer mold but I never thought I would one day be the proprietor of toxic mold and not even realize it. In fact, I always thought it was some sort of strange urban myth... until Blu-tooth forwarded a variety of links about, not only the extermination of mold, but also extremely scary cautionary tales about how mold kills.

Not that I know for certain whether MY mold is deadly. Stachybotrys atra (pronounced Stack-ee-bot-ris) is the most lethal mold apparently. I hope I don't have that.

Per the recommendation of multiple sites about the subject, I'm going to buy either X-14 or Commercial Zap Mildew or Lime Away. All these products are reportedly "not environmental". Suggested eco-friendly product is vinegar mixed with a little bit of baking soda.

But I'm not making a salad.

ABC and proud!

Here's a video of my favorite freestyle rapper, Jin, who is so fucken talented. And he's Cantonese!!

I began to follow his career when he first appeared on BET's 106 & Park. He was a contestant of Free Style Friday and won seven weeks in a row and was inducted in the show's Hall of Fame because no one could beat his chinaman ass. He was unstoppable. That same night, Ruff Ryders signed Jin to their record label. For real, he's really good... especially when his freestyle opponents get racist and talk shit about him being Chinese, he spits back with greater force and wit. He's my idol.

Here's his latest (thanks Tron, for real!)... he raps in Cantonese about the beauty of being American Born Chinese. Represent, bitches!



PS. He's in LA Chinatown!

RIP: Anna Nicole Smith

Some people don't believe this, but I really like Anna Nicole. I was rooting for her from day one. She deserved all the money that her late husband bequeathed to her. The Anna Nicole show was hilarious. The whole Trim Spa thing was fascinating. She loved pills, and I loved how spacey she was on them. She didn't give a fuck. Anna Nicole is a classic superstar. I'm gonna miss her.

Here's a good article in the Houston Chronicle about her. It shares my complete sentiments.

Ride on the Peace Train

Check it. Word up, bitches.

Fuck Colts

Although I did not watch the Superbowl (I didn't even know the time it was on) and went shopping instead with Lady Pun to the Vintage Fashion Expo in Santa Monica (where we each bought beautiful fabulous purses!), I am writing with extreme sadness and regret that Da Beloved Bears had lost. They were a far better team and deserved to win. Not that I really know (or care) but loyalty is a requisite for Chicagoans. So the Colts can go fuck themselves.

Despite our loss, I am still proud of our team and our city. To pay tribute, I present to you fellow Chi-towners Kanye West and Common's Southside Superbowl. I guess no Superbowl Shuffle II this year so this will have to do. SOUTHSIDE!

Dedicated to all you coffee snobs

To all those who have scoffed at my preference for McDonald's coffee, check this:

Consumer Reports magazine said today that in a test conducted at two locations of each emporium, its tasters found McDonald's coffee to be "decent and moderately strong" with "no flaws." On the other hand, the Starbucks brew "was strong, but burnt and bitter enough to make your eyes water instead of open."

The March issue of the magazine, due out Monday, thus advises, "Try McDonald's, which was cheapest and best."

I am NOT promoting McDonalds. It is a disease, just like Starbucks. BUT to those coffee snobs who emphatically believe that Starbucks coffee is the best... Booyah!