My red hot date with Fedde Le Grand

Photos courtesy of Lady Pun

It was a better date than with Bob Sinclair, that's for sure.

A Break from Fedde, Part 1

Cheers, Ladies! I love you bitches.

A Break from Fedde, Part 2

DYY & LADY PUN, YO

Weekend story #1

Art near restrooms...

On Friday we met this dude at Mandrake who owns this denim company called UBI Jeans. His name is Ubi in fact and it's short for "ubiquitous" he tells us. As UBI specializes in women's jeans, Ubi says, "My job is to make your ass look good." I say, oh yeah? So you must have names for different categories of asses? He says yes. I turn around and stick my ass out and say, what would you call this ass? Without hesitation, he says JUICY!

Hilarious.

I respond, right on. Then I ask him to label Lady Pun's. He immediately says BA-DONK-KA-DONK!

And for readers unfamiliar with Lady Pun's ass, let's just say, the description is perfect!

Sunglasses

Last night, I went to this old-school Mexican bar/club in downtown that hosts "Hipster Thursdays." That's what I call it anyway. Despite this, the club played this song. It was brilliant.

Totally, totally bummed

I was suppose to see Amy Winehouse perform at Spaceland tonight. Queen Bee, the woman who hardly goes out on a school night and is usually asleep by 9 pm, was going to accompany me too.

But Bitch cancelled her show! WTF!! Perez Hilton, the notorious gossip gangsta, reports that Amy often cancels shows because she's recovering from a night of hard partying. Dude, I report to work everyday, despite nights of hard partying. Amy needs to learn from DYY. Of course she probably doesn't need the money as bad as I do. Hence, I go to work hungover while Amy is chillin at home watching cartoons and eating caviar and shit.

I'm still lucky though. On Friday night, I went to see Peter Kruder (of Kruder & Dorfmeister) dj at King King. IT WAS AMAZING. He dj-ed from 12:30 am until 4 am! We stayed until closing and continued the festivities at Little Panda's place. Such good times! It ruined me for the rest of the weekend, but I returned (groggy) to work on Monday, unlike Amy...

No offense, but...

Some people are idiots.

So I bought this fabulous shirt last week to add to my great collection of tees. Here is the design:

It's pretty awesome, huh? And it's totally cute on me. I love it. I was SO excited to wear it. But on the day of inauguration, there were quite a few idiots who asked me what it meant. I was like, are you serious? They were like, yeah. I'm like, dude, there's a double meaning. They're like, which meaning are you referring to? I'm like, hello... both. That's what double meaning means. That's what makes this t-shirt so special.

Anyway, I was disappointed at the simpletons' reactions but pleased with the people who understood immediately and promptly furnished compliments. I do it for them, you know.

Here's a picture of me with the t-shirt on. I'm at the Redwood Bar in downtown. The bar is wonderfully pirate-themed. Redwood and my t-shirt made my day.

Me and my bitches.

Happy birthday, ATG!

Snow Globes and Politicos

I fear that I seem much more craftier than I am. That's not even my snow globe above. I am merely a wanna-be, an arts & crafts neophyte... but with a deep interest in projects of self-sustainment i.e. making your own shit in order to reduce corporate consumption. It's really hard not to be a cog in the consumer culture (especially for me!) but I think every little action counts. Soon, I'll be sewing my own clothes and harvesting coffee beans in my backyard. Okay, that's a lie. But if I could, I would.

Plus, it's just fun to mix arts & crafts with friends and alcohol.

Pictured above is my christmas tree ornament. It turned out to be a lovely colorful furry ball. Since we do not have tree this year, it's now hanging from the rear view mirror of my car.

It was such a surprise to arrive at Craft Night and see the gang there -- Blu-Tooth, Minnie Mouse, Tron, Lady Pun and the newest angeleno, Mkydy. I love how something so small has grown among my group of homies. I did not expect them as George and I arrived late after attending Mike Eng's Swearing-In Ceremony as the newest State Assemblymember representing the 49th District. I haven't been interested in politicians since college, but I love Mike. He's a solid, progressive leader. He's one of the few politicians that I would wholeheartedly support. In fact, if he asked me to precinct walk for him, I would, even though I hate doing that shit. Thank god he never asked.

If Mike ever asked me to be one of his political strategists, I would be on board in a heart beat and leave my job and everything. I doubt he would ask though since I have 0% experience. But it seems like something I could do and do well. It actually seems fun. Fortunately, I made George promise me that if he ever runs for an elected office, he would hire me as his strategist. Years ago, I also made my former roommate from law school promise me if she ever ran for political office, she would make me her campaign manager. Dude, you always gotta think for the future.

Snowman Puppets

Creations of DYY and WhyJaneInsane at Craft Night at Akbar.
Mine is named Stony the Snowman. Of course. The other one is Stony's very fashionable supplier.

I have been so domesticated lately. See above. Also, I have been baking cookies! Thanks to the 99 cents only store and the Pillsbury Doe Boy, I have placed and baked chocolate chip cookies, smores cookies and reeses peanut butter cup cookies all this week! And I don't even eat that shit! I make it for my loved ones. You know, to show that I care.

Boogie down in Brooklyn

Miss Ritu Singha (producer of upcoming movie, TRON -- watch for it) and I went to the Caddyshack in Brooklyn on Friday night. With this description from the Village Voice, we couldn't resist:

Sadly, there are no strip clubs for dykes in the city. If lady lovers wanted to see the gravity-defying acrobatics of pole-dancing, they had to visit a gentlemen's club. That is, until Cattyshack began featuring women working the pole, which is positioned on the bar with a red light for extra effect. Friday night's Cirrah party features the best of the lot. Hostess Aja announces each of the dancers, who saunter their way to the bar in occasionally elaborate, always shimmery ensembles from bikini tops to pasties. These ladies have a way of making you feel like every split and spin is just for you. They climb the metal with an ease that's almost unsettling and with just as much skill as any hair-swinger at the local strip bars for dudes. Just don't forget your singles.

We had a lovely time. Here are some highlights and observations:

(1) No matter what kind of club you are in, or sexual preference you may have, pole dancers are hot. No one can deny this.

(2) Race is deep, man. There is racial segregation in our cities, in our schools, in our workplaces... so why not at the local lesbian bar? The upstairs of the Caddyshack was occupied by all white women while the downstairs had all the women of color. The upstairs played 80s music while the downstairs played hip hop and dance music. Coincidence? I doubt it.

(3) Any bar that has a Ms. Pac Man machine is an excellent venue.

(4) We received major attitude from some of the women (particularly the ones from upstairs, maybe because we crossed racial lines?) for absolutely no reason. For reals, no reason. Hello, Ladies, what happen to sister solidarity? I love you bitches, you don't even know. Haters need to bring back happy in the gay...

(5) Why is it that every time I hang out with Miss Ritu, management tells us to shut up?

And why is it that we never listen and end up mocking them instead?? Ah, good times.

Crafts over Cocktails

Last night, Blu-tooth and I attended CRAFTNIGHT hosted by Julianna Parr and held at the Akbar in Silverlake. CraftNight is a weekly Wednesday night community craft and cocktail social hour.

Craftnight's mission: Run by artists for all people, Craftnight strives to bring forth the unrealized artistic talents of the greater public. We perform this mission by incorporating an atmosphere of bohemia and great cordiality.

Yes, expect bohemia and lots of it. But it's true, there was great cordiality, even for two outwardly-appearing non-bohemians like Blu-Tooth and I. We really appreciated the warmth and hospitality, and the complimentary donuts from the craftspeople of the adjoining table.

Also, the theme changes each week. Yesterday, we focused on public spaces and had a choice to either make a warehouse or a convenience store.

I'm sure you can tell by now there is a slight political bent... but that's what makes Craftnight even more special. There's a reason to the madness and creativity. It's not just about construction paper and crayons and glitter, although I wouldn't mind if it was.

So Blu-Tooth chose to make a convenience store that sells children.

I opted for the warehouse, and made a Crack-Whore House.
Two in one, baby!

Dude, can I tell you that coloring brings me back to the good ole' days! Well, it was either that or I was getting high from the flavor-scented markers... or maybe it was the two margaritas I had. I can't be sure. But it was nice.

In our make-believe crafts world, our buildings would be located next door to one another. When "an accident" occurs in the Crack-Whore House, you can sell IT at CHILDREN R US!

We even made new friends!
I think craft-making bonds people instantaneously. Like Helmer's glue.

Blu-Tooth and I intend to return to make snowman puppets (Dec. 6) and holiday snow globes (Dec .13). We can't wait!

Enjoy the Food, Skip the Rudeness

Markus found this ad in the OC Weekly.
This, among many many reasons, is why Orange County sucks.

Thanks, Mr. M, for finding such seemingly innocuous yet super racially-derogative shit about my people. You're cool like that.

Chinese Chipmunks in Da Club in Alhambra.
Happy Birthday!

Seattle Mayor says, "Rave on!"

Despite seven violent deaths last weekend, the mayor gave a reassuring message for the youths who love the all-night music and dancing of the "rave" party scene: Rave on.

That's right, bitches, rave on! Just make sure to be prepared to defend yourself... you could keep your semi-automatic weapon in your glow stick. That's where I keep mine.