Perhaps my last poem ever

Dedicated to Joe Mak for his birthday on July 14th.

J oe is my BFF ("Brotha Fo Fun")
O nly his
E SL

M akes me laugh
A loud and proud (usually it's aloud and in private)
K ikikikikiki (female fob giggles)

I apologize. I know no one else is going to understand this posting, except Joe Mak. This is what the general populace describes as "an inside joke". And it is an inside joke, indeed! Kikikikiki!

Best MLK day EVER

Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day!

Yesterday, 2 million spectators, Christy and I congregated between the Washington Memorial and Lincoln Memorial to watch the start of the inaugural ceremonies for President-Elect Obama.

The two hour event featured speeches and music by many high profile celebrities, a majority of them were African American, such as Denzel Washington, Jamie Foxx, Queen Latifah, Mary J. Blige, Beyonce, Stevie Wonder, Usher, Forrest Whittiker, Samuel L. Jackson, Tiger Woods, John Legend, Herbie Hancock and more!! I thought to myself, wow, this must be the first time ever that so many African Americans were asked to perform and celebrate with the incoming president... and, as a result, this must be the first time it's so much fun! I mean, Jamie Foxx did a shout out to Chi-town, even hollered Chicago's area code "312" at the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. How awesome is that? I am so happy that we finally have a black president. Let's keep it real and keep it going!

Our Puffies and We

You need to have a Puffy in cold weather. You will die without one. Here's DBB and I modeling ours. It is the best purchase I made this winter. I love it frankly. I brought it to Washington DC with me and thank God I did.

Pictorial of how XL and DYY became BFFs

Pictorial by: Design Director DBB.

Entitled:
"Friendship Has No Boundaries, Shares One Language, Sings in Amazing Chinese Unison."

Also known as:
"No Cab in Sight at 2 AM While Zero Degrees in Shanghai, Fuck that Shit, Let's Stay Home and Party."

XL, DBB and DYY wish all you bitches a happy new year!

My red hot date with Fedde Le Grand

Photos courtesy of Lady Pun

It was a better date than with Bob Sinclair, that's for sure.

A Break from Fedde, Part 1

Cheers, Ladies! I love you bitches.

A Break from Fedde, Part 2

DYY & LADY PUN, YO

Valentine's Day

I didn't make any chocolate chip cookies like I had indicated. I tried. But the 99 Cents Only store ran out of Pilsbury Doughboy cookie mix. So oh well.

But for Vday, I still tried the domesticity thing. It's actually not bad and kind of fun if you play house with the right people.

DV8 and I made dinner instead -- Pecan-crusted honey baked salmon, sauteed spinich with garlic, and brown rice simmered in onion soup.

By the way, I must mention that DV8 caught the salmon with his bare hands at a fishing expedition in Canada. It's quite amazing, I know. I suppose he's quite the hunter. If this were prehistoric days, our house would be a cave, we'd wear furry thongs, and it would likely be my job to scale and clean the captured fish for our consumption. Thank god it's modern times and we can hire people to do that for us. It's better that way. I like to do my part to promote the economy.

Speaking of prehistoric times, which usually leads me to think about evolution, here's an article, also fished out by DV8, that describes a newly discovered biological reason for why humans aren't good at monogamy. You should read it for yourself for full comprehension... but, basically, it's all about the battle of the sperm! They're aggressive little fuckers, aren't they? It's good I date stoners.

Friends for Judas

Do you remember my pal, Judas?

For a long while, his only friends (beside me) were:

Buddha

Ganesh

Lady of Guadalupe

They even dated for a while, but she broke up with him because... well, let's just say, she wasn't quite satisfied...

and last but not least,

Pure White, but his dirty ass moved to NYC.

So Judas' social support network has diminished quite a bit. Fortunately, Wal-Mart has come to the rescue. This month, Wal-Mart stores nationwide will begin carrying faith-based toys from One2believe that target parents who would rather that their kids play with a Samson action figure than a Spider-Man action figure.

Hey, maybe Judas and Jesus can make amends now...

Oooh, perhaps a new girlfriend for the Big J?

Can someone please buy me the Moses doll? It's awesome. By the way, is it me or Moses has crossed eyes? Dude, even better.

A Lowenbrau Moment

Balcony view from Parks BBQ on Vermont
Photo by Mr. T

During a toast for Jane's birthday, I felt a fleeting moment of:

Here's to Good Friends..
Tonight is Kind of Special...

But I totally forgot the rest of the lyrics. I knew it was a beer commercial though. In fact, I pictured a group of teenagers drinking this mysterious beverage by the fire at a ski lodge. And two lumberjacks at a random hillbilly bar, clicking their beer bottles to toast their secret love for one another. Do you remember? Or am I making this up? I can't be sure. Anyway, it was Calvin who said "Lowenbrau" after I recited the first two lines.

Calvin was like, Have you ever tasted Lowenbrau? I was like, No.

So I found the rest of the lyrics on rockin' Wiki.

In the 1970s and 1980s in the United States, Löwenbräu was famous for its jingle, sung by Arthur Prysock:

Here's to good friends,

Tonight is kind of special.

The beer we'll pour

must say something more, somehow.

So tonight (tonight),

Tonight,

Let it be Lowenbrau (let it be Lowenbrau).

It's been so long.

Hey, I'm glad to see ya.

Raise your glass.

Here's to health and happiness.

So tonight (tonight),

Let it be all the best.

Just want to share a pretty picture of the girls

This picture was taken last summer, almost exactly one year ago, circa 2006. We were out for Min's birthday... and she has another crazy one coming up! We need to remember to take another group picture, in the exact same order if possible.

Proof that Tron arrived in China

He brought his girlfriends with him!

The worst summer flooding in years has claimed more than 400 lives and wreaked billions of dollars in damage in central China. Here in the villages around Dongting Lake, rising waters have brought a plague of biblical proportions: an invasion of 2 billion mice.

Tron emerges from China

Tron provided the group with an update on his adventures in Shanghai. Here is an excerpt, because I think it is funny.

so many stories but one of the gems that harkim took us to was this place called "movie world" where you can get cheap pirated dvd's. but we didn't end up going there, we went to the store across the street called "even better than movie world", because you know.. it's even better! literally across the street from the other place! that's some pure fucking chinese shit man. i mean you know you're in china when people sound like they're totally arguing, but you know they aren't because they're really just having a regular conversation. total switch from japan where it's like pretty quiet everywhere and you can't answer your cell phone on the bus or train.

That is really some pure fucking Chinese shit... I love it!

When dreams come true

This is one of DBB's contributions to the upcoming 2008 Olympics!

Farewell Little Brother

He's first off to Asia, then back to Calgary.
I'm going to miss the little pervert.

Seven years in Los Scandelous. It's an end of an era.

Bay 2 Breaker Bitches

So I've received inquiries all day about this year's Bay to Breakers and, of course, about our outfits. Although tamer than I prefer (I think we only saw 2 naked guys), it was fun walking around SF and breathing fresh air. The trees are gorgeous in Golden Gate Park. And we looked pretty fucken crazy:



But sometimes pictures alone cannot describe the mood of an occasion. Fortunately, a video can:

Mother's Day

This is the second year in a row that I spent Mother's Day with Lady Simzie, as my sassy mother (pictured above) is in Chicago and I'm in LA and that's how it goes. Single tear...

Still, it is very uncharacteristic of DYY not to celebrate a holiday. Thank god that Lady Simzie is a mom, so at least we can celebrate in her honor.

Here's Nihkil, wearing the SAG shirt I bought for him! We're chillaxing at Santa Monica Beach.
Baby #2 (Jovan Joseph maybe?) is due in July. With one baby and another in tow, Lady Simzie is still the hottest MILF I know.

I know you agree.

Happy Mother's Day to all MILFS. You bitches are hot.

Although Min is blocking the goods...

You get the picture. Ron Jeremy in da house!

Opening Night of Visual Communications Film Fest 2007

Be a Member! Pretty please! And type into the Special Instructions Box that DYY coerced you!

Double Happiness

On Saturday, I went to two wedding parties. Can you believe it? Double weddings in one night. Despite the agonizing thought, I actually had lots of fun. Christy and Peter exchanged vows at the City Club on the 54th floor of the Wells Fargo Building in Downtown, where we were very fortunate to receive free mouthwash in the restrooms. It shoots out from a dispenser. Can you say, swanky? I can. Here's Lady Pun and I doing a toast of peppermint mouthwash for the new husband and wife, who by the way, are so lovely. I am so happy for them. They're honeymooning in Italy right now. Fucken bitches.

The good spirits followed me to Khanum and Syed's wedding party in Mount Washington, at yet another fancy location. A rich and very generous friend's house. The new bride and groom looked stunning, as always. And as always, they partied Bollywood style -- johnnie walker, bhangra and tons of samosas. But no mouthwash.

Finally, I can't even attempt to broach the subject of weddings without giving a proper SHOUT OUT to CuzzieND who married her man in September 2006. Yeah, I'm kind of late in my reporting. Sorry, girl. But check it. We're going to re-live the moment through pictures.

This is my favorite picture of them. They're like, What?

My parents, YY and WYY (Wife of Yip Yee).
You can't tell, but they were ECSTATIC to be at my cousin's wedding.
I couldn't calm their excitement.

Here's Cuzzie after she changed into her Chinese wedding dress. Meow!

Year of the Golden Pig -- The Return of DBB

My dear comrade DBB returned to Los Skandelous from Shanghai last Thursday night. His first request upon arrival was for pho. So here we are at Pho LA in Koreatown.