Sex and the City

(It's okay, you can keep reading... no spoiler in my entry!)

It is no secret that I'm a fan of Sex and the City, the series on HBO. But the movie? I felt ambivalent. Not because the series can't tranform into a great movie... it just didn't seem like something I need to watch at the theaters.

Then I get this email from Melissa Silverstein (press me for her blog) in one of her "Women & Hollywood Weekly Updates". She entitles her critique of the Sex and the City movie as "A Women's Cultural Movement". It's her analysis that motivated me to see the movie this past weekend.

Melissa writes:

Whatever your thoughts are on the actual content of Sex and the City, as a follower of movies about women I can't help but acknowledge that this is a cultural watershed moment for women's films for a couple of reasons.

1. Everyone (who talks about movies) has spent the last couple of weeks talking about a film that stars and celebrates women and women's friendships. Indiana Jones is so yesterday's news one week after being released after an almost 20 YEAR WAIT!
2. Everyone (who talks about movies) is scratching their heads trying to figure out how much money an R rated movie targeted at adult women can make. Imagine women preoccupying the minds of Hollywood's men.

The male misogynists in the film blogosphere have outed themselves in a big way with their extreme nastiness about the film with one actually calling the film a Taliban recruitment film. This film has sold out more shows in advance (almost 400) than any other film EVER. Harry Medved of Fandango has been watching these screenings sellout all week and told me: "It's unusual for a female driven movie to inspire so much fan anticipation. You would usually associate sold out shows with a comic book movie or a sequel to a summer tentpole." Clearly there is an audience for adult female driven pictures and we are hoping that Hollywood will make more of them. We haven't seen anything like this before.

Hell fucken yeah bro.

Melissa continues:

...underneath all the superficiality, the issues the film addresses especially about how women still need to be married to feel safe and the many difficulties in sustaining different kinds of relationships are right on the money. The film goes far to show that you can be glamorous and sexual at at 50 - one of my favorite moments was Samantha's 50th birthday dinner. I'm not going to pretend that the film is for everyone and it's not an overtly feminist film. But I can't help but think that the girl power this film is engendering will go a lot further than a feminist film that doesn't get seen by the masses.

After watching the film, I must say, I liked it. To me, it felt like watching four episodes back-to-back, which is really what I enjoy doing anyway when I watch the shows on dvd. And even though the storyline was inevitably predictable, the movie still makes you work hard for that happy ending. Just like how love is in real life.

Wow. Did I just say that? FUUCK. See, this is what happens to me when I watch chick flicks.

Once again...

Sexism is ignored and subordinated to racism.

As I'm sure you all know, shock jock Don Imus is busted by the public for calling members of the Rutgers women's basketball team "some nappy-headed hos."

The National Association of Black Journalists has demanded the immediate firing of the "Imus in the Morning" host. On Monday, the Rev. Jesse Jackson led a 50 person protest in Chicago outside of NBC's offices demanding his dismissal. Al Sharpton denounced the comment on his syndicated radio show as "racist" and "abominable," adding: "You should be fired for saying it."

I even overheard the women on THE VIEW talk about it while I was doing my taxes at my sister's house. They spoke about how such racial remarks can really affect each of the player's self-image. After all, they're just students.

As a double minority, I am proud when a community of color stands in solidarity against racial slurs and stereotypes, and demands accountability. I love it actually. But time and time again, and particularly in this situation, I am disappointed with that same community of color, as well as the feminist community, for hardly addressing the disparaging sexist comment made in the same breath. In fact, Imus' executive producer, Bernard McGuirk, called the team "some hard-core hos" before Imus made his stupid comment. Yet no one is asking McGuirk to resign. Believe me, if Imus never added the "nappy-headed" and just called the players "hos", there would be no news. Imus would still be on the air today, feeling secure and happy about his job and making misogynist remarks, without anyone feeling offended.

Happy International Women's Day!

(Please note that I started this post on the date indicated above but sadly was too busy to finish it. Don't get confused, ok? I don't want you going around wishing women a happy day and looking foolish and ignorant. You should have done that last Thursday, though it's a good thing to greet someone in the spirit of feminism. Anyway, thank you for your patience.)

To my Sisters in the struggle, this is OUR day. You are special and beautiful, and DYY loves you very much. So shine, bitches, shine!

In celebration of OUR day, a group of my female friends (including Tron, of course) and I went to check out Andrea Zittel's CRITICAL SPACE exhibit at the MOCA Geffen Contemporary. She's the featured artist of WACK! Art and the Feminist Revolution, the latest big exhibition at MOCA. I attended the member's party last Saturday. Le Tigre was dj'ing and they were cool and all but it was fucken crazy crowded and we had to wait in line for a long while before we were allowed to enter the museum to see the exhibition. To my chagrin (since I don't do lines anymore, well, not those types of lines), most of the art and artists were uninspiring... EXCEPT Andrea Zittel who is amazing and is my absolute favorite artist at the moment. Seriously, I wish I could be her.

Andrea was even better and more inspiring the second time around. I encourage everyone to check out her exhibit. You will be in awe.

For a far better description, check out her biography here. But this is why I adore her: She incorporates art in her everyday life and challenges that life with her art. She pushes our conception and construction of time and physical space. For example, she would create these tiny living spaces that incorporate a bedroom, bathroom, or whatever, and maximize the space so that every inch is utilitarian and functional, yet super designy and modern... so when you look at it, you think to yourself, damn this space is small, but I think I can live like this because everything looks so cute and comfortable.

Did you know that many of her structures can be folded into a trunk (which I had not noticed the first time)? Not only does she challenge the fallacy that bigger is better, she also believes in self-sustainable living and makes all her own very stylish clothes, furniture and architecture.

I am once again inspired to learn how to sew! I wish I knew how to make cool shit. Since her exhibit, I have also been thinking philosophically about my own lifestyle and my perpetual quest to downsize and minimize in order to truly expand and maximize. It's a struggle, man... but I've come to realize that the creativity and adaptivity that derives from such a struggle is really amazing and quite fulfilling. It's a natural high.

I can really go on and on about Andrea's pieces as she's quite prolific and diverse. But I know I'm not doing her any justice so visit her website for a glimpse of her genius. By the way, Andrea's a part-time resident of Joshua Tree and creates a majority of her art and conducts experiments there. Now do you see why I want to be this bitch?

Just another manic monday

I was suppose to see this riveting documentary after work. But Tron cancelled on me. For a woman, no less. And no one else seemed interested. I wonder why? For real, why? I think it's a pretty good concept and I'm always interested to see what those wacky Chinese villagers are up to.

So, instead, I ventured to the westside to check out this book reading by Norah Vincent, author of Self-Made Man.

In the book, Norah shares her journey of going undercover as a man for eighteen months. It's kind of like John Howard Griffin's Black Like Me, but unlike Griffin's book which totally confirmed why I hate white people, Norah's book actually exhibits sympathy for men. That's what the audience said anyway. And can I tell you how kooky the audience was! Thank god I had two cocktails at Houstons beforehand, thanks to my buddies Plus, Blu-Tooth and Michael! By the way, why is it so easy to get people to come out for drinks than see a documentary about newly-empowered Chinese villagers with access to modern digital freedom? Fucken drunks.

So back to the audience. Although I was impressed with the diversity of the group, in terms of race, gender and sexual orientation, you could tell most of the folks were academics. And why is it that before an academic asks a question in a public forum, he or she must provide complete disclosure of his/her identity?

I am a middle-class African American lesbian of color born and raised in the melting pot of Los Angeles with an abusive alcoholic father and albino mother and a cat with three legs.

Are you fucken serious? Just ask your stupid question, please. But no.

I was raised as an Orthodox Jew but studied eastern philosophy at a community college and now I perform accupunture on people who are frightened to leave their homes and I find it very rewarding and... oh, I forgot my question.

Then these two ladies get into a heated debate with an obnoxious straight Asian male, a Latino guy, and a gay white man (sounds like I'm starting a joke, huh?) about the differences between hetero-male sexuality and gay-male sexuality. This went on for a while. Poor Norah.

Truth be told, much of it was interesting despite the annoying personalities. Norah made one statement that made me ponder: "The one thing that prevents heterosexual men from freely engaging in polygamous relationships is... the woman." Norah admitted that her statement is an overgeneralization but true in many cases. I've been thinking a lot about monogamy lately and I'm not so sure if it works either, particularly in our day and age when marriage is no longer a necessity of life.

Don't get me wrong. I value partnerships. But why can't you have partnerships with multiple people, especially when it's unlikely that one person will be your everything? Why should you compromise and have less than everything you deserve and desire? Why settle on one person who has only half of everything when two halves make a whole?

You know, four fourths make a whole too.

Gee. Things that make you go hmm.

The Women of Biodiesel

Women continue to rock.

If you've been wondering what to get that renewable energy fan in your life, look no further. The Women of Biodiesel is an illustrated calendar featuring idiosyncratic photographs of 12 women involved in sustainable biofuel production. Not only will it bring a smile to your face, but it serves as a sweet introduction to a community where people convert waste vegetable oil into fuel for their diesel Volkswagens, acting locally while thinking about the Big Energy picture.

We need a Southern Cali version! You know I would LOVE to model on the hood of my station wagon!

Grrrl Power

This is a great month for women. Britney and Whitney each filed for divorce from their good-for-nothing husbands. Representive Nancy Pelosi was chosen to be the next Speaker of the House. The janitors, particularly female janitors, in Houston prevailed in their month-long struggle for a better wages and health care. My good friend Khanum beat a penis-shaped pinata with a cricket bat at her bachelorette party.

There is still so much to do in pursuit of social and economic justice for women and girls... but for today, I feel so blessed to be a woman.

Violence against girls, not rural areas

When NPR reported on the school attacks this morning, it commented on the most notable similarity between the shooting in Colorado and the shooting in Pennsylvania... that both shootings occurred in a rural area.

Are you kidding me? That was your analysis?

To me, the most obvious similarity is that the victims of the shootings were girls only. Each shooter ordered the teachers and boys to leave the premises while he held the girls hostage. The Colorado shooter sexually molested the girls before he fatally shot one and himself. The Amish shooter brought two tubes of KY jelly with him, presumably to also sexually violate the girls before killing them and himself.

The fact that the targeted victims have been girls is the most appalling aspect of both shootings. I have yet to hear a report from the mainstream media that speaks to the rampant and continuous sexism, patriarchy and violence against women and girls, as evidenced by these shootings. Instead, I hear and read bullshit about the shooter's past, the quiet Amish community, life in the rural areas... dude, whatever.

The Good Wife's Guide

Good Housekeeping article -- May 13, 1955

• Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
• Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
• Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
• Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.
• During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
• Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.
• Be happy to see him.
• Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
• Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
• Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
• Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.
• Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
• Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
• Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
• A good wife always knows her place.

South Dakota Shits on Women

South Dakota lawmakers Wednesday approved the nation's most far-reaching ban on abortion, making it a felony for doctors to perform any abortion, except to save the life of a pregnant woman. The proposal must still be signed by Republican Gov. Mike Rounds, who opposes abortion.

Nancy Keenan, president of NARAL Pro-Choice America said, "This bill contains an inadequate exception to protect a woman's life and no other exceptions -- not for rape, not for incest, not even to protect the woman's health.

Brand New Muslim Barbie

Mattel should have a Miss Barbie Universe Contest... but then this doll couldn't compete in the swimsuit competition.






At least Muslim Barbie looks modest and (a little) more true to form... Chinese Barbie looks like an Orange County white girl dressed as a geisha for Halloween.








Dragon Lady Edition

Fuck you, Mattel. Fuck you.