Panda People in da House... a retrospective

Another dumb presidential move

The White House announced today that they plan to deploy 6000 National Guard troops along the US/Mexico border to deter illegal immigration, even though Bush still claims to support a guest work program and a path of legalization for undocumented immigrants currently residing in the US.

Members of both parties have expressed concern about a National Guard deployment to the border, saying that it might strain military resources already depleted by the Iraq war and that it appears to be politically motivated.

Well, of course.

This reminds me of how WRONG some Bush proponents have been about how Bush may not be bright, but he is a man who stands by his word. Well, explain why Bush purports to support immigrants, yet he makes this move to pander to anti-immigrant Republicans... seems like some flip-flopping to me...

Here is a SNL video of what could have been if Bush was not elected in 2000... (thanks KimCheeFarmer!)

"Twin Nipples"

Last Friday night, Tonkhero and I ventured into an off-beat journey with the Midnight Riders, a group of about 300-400 bicyclers who reclaim the streets every second Friday of the month. The theme of the month was "TWINS". And yes, we were a pair of breasts, even though everyone called us Twin Nipples.

Some people didn't understand our costume because they're stupid idiots. But the smart people thought it was very funny and creative. People gave us strange looks when we were a single boob though. That's when I replied that I had breast cancer.

The strangest remark a cyclist said to me was, "That looks like my daughter's nipple on your head." I gave him an unusual look and said, "That's a really weird comment." He immediately became embarrased and said that he has a 9-month old and he was actually referring to his kid's baby bottle... yeah right.
The experience was very liberating. Since there are hundreds of us, there was no way that we could all pass the intersections of the streets in a timely manner. So when the light turned red, either organizers or volunteers would plant themselves and their bikes in front of cars and buses who had the right of way, so that the rest of us could pass and stay together as a large mass. It was really frightening at first, because drivers would get pissed and honk or even come out of their cars and bitch at the bicyclists in their faces. I honestly thought a fight was going to break out, or that some psycho LA driver would become ballistic and run us all down. Still, the human roadblocks wouldn't budge. It's quite a public service, I think.

The crowd were all carrying beers, drinking as they rode. Some of them were visibly drunk but, surprisingly, I only saw one crash, and I think that resulted more from lack of coordination than inebriation.
The SKEET brothers made me take their picture. It's funny and all, but they thought they were so clever... homeboy on the right kept bragging that he came up with the idea and made the shirts at 9:00pm. I pointed at the nipple on my head and said 10:15.
We started in Echo Park at 10:30 pm. Then to Downtown, Chinatown, Little Tokyo, Skid Row (which I thought was tasteless actually), and ended up here at Mariachi Square in East L.A. We reversed the route and returned to Echo Park by 1:30 am. We ended the night with more beer, pork rhines and tacos from this awesome taco truck next to the ghetto Vons in Echo Park. Very yummy...

Lady Simzie's First Mother's Day

Lil' Nikhil chillin' at the Meditation Center in San Diego.
One of the flowers at the Center. Although I hate hippie scum, I must say they have great taste in horticulture.

The Center also has a beautiful fish pond filled with giant koi. Those hippies are lucky bastards.

Happy Mother's Day!

The Underbite

Babies and dogs can sense evil...

Panda Man Premiere

It's tomorrow... I'm so fucken nervous!
If you're a panda advocate or lover, check this out.
Power to the Pandas!

Synopsis:

PANDA MAN

(United States, 2006) Dir.: Rebecca Yee

A parody of documentary filmmaker Werner Herzog's GRIZZLY MAN, PANDA MAN explores the life and death of professional panda bear enthusiast Rick Yitt, who sought to liberate pandas and end panda exploitation. Rick lived with pandas for 13 years, until he and his girlfriend, Gloria Yip, were attacked and killed by the infamous giant panda, Ling-Ling.

"All you can eat, but not all you can waste"

In celebration of APA Heritage Month, I am very pleased to share with you a lovely news report of brethren Chinese restaurant owner, Kent Cao, who owns Dragon House Chinese Restaurant in Des Moines, Iowa. Cool-ass Cao kicked out Wendy Dershem, her boyfriend and her two kids out of his restaurant after accusing them of leaving too much buffet food on their plates!

Now this may sound unreasonable at first, especially after Dershem and her family paid $5.95 each, but apparently, employees have been watching her family on previous trips to the restaurant and were fed up with her habits.

"They just take one bite and throw it away," said cashier Lin Huyen. "They take four egg rolls and crab ragoon, take one bite of egg roll and throw the whole plate. That is wasting food."

I cannot agree more. That plate could have fed a village in China. Plus, those crab ragoons filled with cream cheese are yummy!

"She's done that too many times," Cao said. "We would welcome her back if she has respect and knows what she wants."

Very well said, Cao. That bitch needs to learn how to respect our food!

Happy Asian Pacific American Hertiage Month!

You know, I've known the month of May to be APA Heritage Month for, like, forever. But how did it come about? I found some great historical background about our month to share with you, thanks to the fabulous omniscient world wide web.

May is Asian Pacific American (APA) Heritage Month—a celebration of Asians and Pacific Islanders in the United States. Much like Black History or Women's History celebrations, APA Heritage Month originated in a congressional bill.

In June 1977, Representatives Frank Horton of New York and Norman Y. Mineta of California introduced a House resolution that called upon the president to proclaim the first ten days of May as Asian/Pacific Heritage Week. The following month, senators Daniel Inouye and Spark Matsunaga introduced a similar bill in the Senate. Both were passed.

On October 5, 1978, President Jimmy Carter signed a Joint Resolution designating the annual celebration. In May 1990, the holiday was expanded further when President George H.W. Bush designated May to be Asian Pacific American Heritage Month. May was chosen to commemorate the immigration of the first Japanese to the United States on May 7, 1843, and to mark the anniversary of the completion of the transcontinental railroad on May 10, 1869. The majority of the workers who laid the tracks were Chinese immigrants.

This year's theme is "Freedom for All—A Nation We Call Our Own."

Viva Mexico!

Possessing marijuana, cocaine and even heroin will no longer be a crime in Mexico if they are in small amounts for personal use under new reforms that quickly drew U.S. criticism... but not by this American!

Economic Boycott

I would like to take this opportunity to applaud all the committed individuals who refused to purchase anything on May 1st. Whether or not the boycott truly made a detrimental impact on our economy (I have been hearing differing reports), it made people notice and, I bet, worry just a little bit...

I wholeheartedly disagree with all the critics who felt the boycott would alienate the public. That part of the public hated immigrants or never cared about immigrants to begin with.

Marc Cooper (a columnist from the LA Weekly who I followed and sympathized with when he was harassed for reporting about the UFW scandal) wrote an opinion piece in the LA Times that stated, "Boycotts are powerful and volatile weapons used as a last resort to bust open dams of dogged resistance. You don't use them when the political tide is even vaguely flowing in your direction." As you might have guessed, he doesn't agree with the boycott/walkout.

Yo Marc, wake the fuck up! Immigrants lack power. They don't own media, they don't have much money or resources, and most of them can't vote. The power immigrants have come from their labor, their numbers and their principles. That's why a boycott was necessary. And considering the height of anti-immigrant legislation and sentiment, the time is now to use the most "powerful and volatile weapons" we got!

Marc, perhaps you should apply for a correspondent position at Fox News or CNN? I heard they reported mostly negative portrayals of the rally and boycott. However, I think I get why you wrote what you wrote -- BF informed me that you created a nice little niche for yourself as a progressive who criticizes other progressives. Dude, I guess you gotta do what you gotta do... but you lost a fan. Hey, I'm sure you and Ann Coulter can be best buddies though.

I suspect my cat was a Chinese nationalist in another life

A Day without Immigrants

May Day March at corner of Wilshire and La Brea
Photos by DYY

More than one million immigrants and supporters skipped work today and marched from MacArther Park to Mid-Wilshire in support of immigrant rights, as part of a nationwide boycott that succeeded in slowing or shutting down businesses all across America.

From my own personal experience, it was amazing to see most of the businesses on Wilshire closed. It feels so rewarding to show the nation that immigrants truly contribute to the economic viability of our country.

I cannot even tell you the excitement I felt when I walked toward the enormous group, who were mostly wearing white in solidarity.
It was incredible and powerful.

Besides little man's poster pictured here, my favorite slogans of the afternoon were, "Legalize LA", and "March Today, Vote Tomorrow".

Here we are representin'. We're so fuckin cute, huh?
We received many compliments on our dual sided US/China flags (handmade by Blu-Tooth) and matching United Farmworkers
"Si Se Puede" shirts!

SSB the Re-mix

Nuestro Himno ('Our Anthem')
Amanece, lo veis?, a la luz de la aurora?
lo que tanto aclamamos la noche caer?
sus estrellas sus franjas
flotaban ayer
en el fiero combate
en señal de victoria,
fulgor de lucha, al paso de la libertada.
Por la noche decían:
"Se va defendiendo!"
Oh decid! Despliega aún
Voz a su hermosura estrellada,
sobre tierra de libres,
la bandera sagrada?
Sus estrellas, sus franjas,
la libertad, somos iguales.
Somos hermanos, en nuestro himno.
En el fiero combate en señal de victoria,
Fulgor de lucha, al paso de la libertada.
Mi gente sigue luchando.
Ya es tiempo de romper las cadenas.
Por la noche decían: "!Se va defendiendo!"
Oh decid! Despliega aún su hermosura estrellada
sobre tierra de libres,
la bandera sagrada?
-------------------------------------------------
Our Anthem
By the light of the dawn, do you see arising,
what we proudly hailed at twilight's last fall?
Its stars, its stripes yesterday streamed
above fierce combat a gleaming emblem of victory
and the struggle toward liberty.
Throughout the night, they proclaimed:
"We will defend it!"
Tell me! Does its starry beauty still wave
above the land of the free,
the sacred flag?
Its stars, its stripes,
liberty, we are the same.
We are brothers in our anthem.
In fierce combat, a gleaming emblem of victory
and the struggle toward liberty.
My people fight on.
The time has come to break the chains.
Throughout the night they proclaimed, "We will defend it!"
Tell me! Does its starry beauty still wave
above the land of the free, the sacred flag?

Star Spangled Banner in Spanish

The release of ``Nuestro Himno,'' which means ``Our Anthem", features artists such as Wyclef Jean, Carlos Ponce and Olga Tanon. As exciting as this collaboration sounds (not!), the song's release coincides with a planned May 1 national boycott in support of immigration reforms. President Bush said Friday that he doesn't support boycotts and believes the national anthem should be sung in English and not Spanish.

Oh how I cringed when I heard that.

My neck still hurts from that cringe too.

Anyway, Tonkhero and I had a debate about the issue this morning. Although he doesn't have some weird patriotic objection to the song being sung in Spanish, he feels it's un-strategic for the movement, and may turn off or distract potential supporters and allies from the real issues at hand.

I agree that the Spanish version of the Star Spangled Banner may not solve anti-immigrant legislation, but I find the act very symbolic and powerful. The Spanish SSB salutes to a multicultural, multi-lingual America. In fact, when I think of the music video for the Spanish SSB, I see little children from all over the world, in different shapes and colors, linked together holding hands across America (with Wyclef swaying on a cloud). It's all one love.

You know, I would be ecstatic if a group of limited English speakers wanted to translate one of my songs into their respective language, so that millions of them and others could sing it... and to sing it with pride. I would be honored. These English-only Americans are fools.

Also, when did English speakers own the rights to SSB? I would think SSB is public domain by now.

If only Coachella's line-up was like this

Thoughts about the soaring gas prices

I heard a special report on NPR this morning that featured a family who spoke about changes they intend to make in their lives due to the increased gas prices. The father is going to replace his SUV for a smaller economical car. He also decided to take his son to a local skating rink for hockey practice rather than driving 20 miles to some professional skating rink.

Although I'm not in favor of these oil companies profitting from our dependency on their product, people are changing their oil-dependent lifestyles as a result. And that's a good thing, I think.

Asians and the immigration debate

Many have wondered and discussed the role of Asians and Asian Americans on issues regarding immigration policy and reform. Unfortunately, the voices of our community have been widely ignored or subordinated, despite that most, if not all, Asians and Asian Americans in the United States are immigrants, come from immigrant backgrounds, or have close ties with an immigrant community. Additionally, it is a fact that decisions ultimately made in Congress as well as whatever happens on the streets by wacko xenophobic vigilante groups, like the Minute Men, shall undoubtedly have an impact on the Asian community. You may not see many of our faces during protests and rallies, but it's a complex issue that affects us and our families everyday.

The LA Times recently published an article that I thought was a pretty good introduction to the dialouge of Asians and the immigration issue. I also just read a really interesting article in the lastest New Yorker regarding "snakeheads" -- individuals in the Chinese community who make a lucrative career out of illegally smuggling undocumented Chinese natives into the United States. Despite the wretched and inhuman conditions of their transport, the enormous debt they owe, and the risks of detainment and deportation and death, it seems that many of the Chinese are not regretful, even the ones who didn't make it. Rather, they are extremely grateful to the snakeheads.

It makes you remember how fortunate we Americans are.

**Long live Sister Peng, the greatest snakehead of all time! (By the way, she's Fukinese, for my two Fukinese friends out there... I think she kicks ass. She can be your role model!)

Anza Borrego

"The extreme clarity of the desert light is equaled by the extreme individuation of desert life forms.
Love flowers best in openness and freedom."
-- Edward Abbey

“Sunshine all the time makes a desert.”
-- an Arab proverb

“I have never been in a natural place and felt that was a waste of time. I never have. And it's a relief. If I'm walking around a desert or whatever, every second is worthwhile.”

--Viggo Mortensen“In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said: "Is it good, friend?"
"It is bitter-bitter," he answered;
"But I like it
Because it is bitter,
And because it is my heart."
-- Stephen Crane

“I need you like the desert needs the rain.”

-- Tonk Hero
“The phoenix hope, can wing her way through the desert skies, and still defying fortune's spite; revive from ashes and rise.”
-- Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

"Did you hear about the rose that grew
from a crack in the concrete?
Proving nature's law is wrong it
learned to walk with out having feet.
Funny it seems, but by keeping it's dreams,
it learned to breathe fresh air.
Long live the rose that grew from concrete
when no one else ever cared."
-- Tupac Shakur

"You can take a girl out of the city, but never the city out of a girl."
-- DYY

When world powers meet

"Hey, nice suit."
"Xie Xie. It's Armani, but made in China."

Armenian Memorial Day

These colors waved proudly from cars all across Los Angeles today. Although these cars caused considerable traffic, I was not bothered... especially since I no longer own a car. So it's all good.

On April 24, 1915, over six hundred Armenian politicians, leaders, writers, thinkers, and professionals were rounded up and killed. Also, five thousand of the poorest Armenians were butchered in the streets and in their homes. The Armenian Genocide was carried out by the "Young Turk" government of the Ottoman Empire.

A post-modern dragon lady

Happy 4/20!

Song stuck in my head

... since karaoke on Saturday. Dammit.

Daydream Believer by Monkees

Oh, I could hide ’neath the wings

Of the bluebird as she sings.

The six o’clock alarm would never ring.

Whoops it’s ringing and I rise,

Wipe the sleep out of my eyes.

My shavin’ razor’s cold and it stings.

Cheer up, sleepy jean.

Oh, what can it mean.

To a daydream believer

And a homecoming queen.

[repeat]

Birthday Bliss

Funny and poignant

Read this opinion piece by this chick named Rosa Brooks. She writes about how Americans don't protest anymore... yet another job we leave for immigrants...

You down wit OPP?

Yeah, you know me!

Yes, readers, it's time for DYY's exegesis of expired-but-hardly-forgotten popular culture.

I was delightfully reminded of OPP when Blu-Tooth invited me to a 90's costume party last weekend. The invitation asked if I was down with OPP?

Well, you know me.

But it got me thinking... on those brisk autumn days walking to the subway station after school, when the boys shouted "Ya down wit OPP?", and the girls responded, "Yeah, you know me!", but without ever really knowing what OPP stood for. I remember being 15 years old and sitting real close to my am/fm clock radio to figure out the lyrics. The song was brillantly ambiguous.

Yet we continued to sing the song. And whenever anyone asked me if I was down with OPP, I knew what they wanted to hear, and I never disappointed. It was like a contagious disease, an addiction that I couldn't shake off... and only enjoyed more and more.

I used to think it meant Other People's Property. Later I realized it must mean Other People's Pussy or Other's People's Penis. Lady Pun recently mentioned it means Other People's Piss. If that's the case, however, no thank you. You can save that for R. Kelly fans.

According to the website, Urban Dictionary, OPP stands for all of these things, except piss...

I also checked out the Song Facts website, and learned that Naughty by Nature's Treach came up with the idea for the lyrics from a drug dealer in his neighborhood who used to move into other dealers' territories, and said he was down with O.P.M (Other People's Money). Treach liked the phrase, but as the lyrical genius that he was, he changed the meaning of the last P to what we know today.

I wonder, when Naughty by Nature made this song, and Hip-Hop Hurray, whether they knew their catchy lyrics would continue to resonate among people in my generation, as we all begin to enter our thirties, purchase homes and have families. And as my generation begins to experience divorces, foreclosures and mid-life crises, OPP will still stand the test of time. For this, I am forever grateful.

I hate tax day

Unlike you fuckers who are probably getting money back, my ass has to pay this year... and quite a bit, I might add. I'm very sad to depart with my hard-earned money. More sad knowing that my money will be used for military spending and killing Iraqis.

I guess I could be a War Tax Resister. According to the War Tax Resistance website, resisting war taxes is really very simple — don’t pay all the tax due on your annual Federal income tax form, or don’t pay the Federal excise tax on telephone bills, or both.

Simple is as simple does.

Honestly though, I'm scared of the IRS... more than the Boogie Man and Bloody Mary combined.

But don't be a pussy like me. Resist the War! Don't pay your taxes!

I promise to write when you're in Guantanamo...

Acid trip

I think the old man is scarier than the giant Pooh characters...

He's back

David Blaine will perform his latest stunt by living underwater for seven days and nights in a "human aquarium" in front of New York's Lincoln Center.

Blaine's previous feats include balancing on a small platform for 35 hours and surviving inside a massive block of ice for 61 hours. In 2003, he fasted for 44 days in a suspended acrylic box over the Thames River in London.

I think I see a part two: Joe Mak, Underwater Magician!!

Wetback Mountain

Check this out, it's pretty hilarious.

Mario Lopez actually does a fantastic job...

(another referral from Divinestyler... i'm impressed with your search skills. That's why you're the Webmaster.)

Cool shirt

*Mirror not included.

Fashion Renegade

Umar Rashid (aka FroHawk Two-Feathers aka Kent Cyclone) made his debut in the LA Times West Magazine for his controversial fashion statement.

I think I prefer "militant chic" over "terrorist chic" though.

Congratulations dude. You're my idol.

Victims of Scientology

First Isaac Hayes quits the best job he has ever had, now Katie Holmes is going to be muzzled during her labor.

Following the Scientology tradition of a silent birth (because babies are to enter the world in peace), Tom Cruise ordered a special-made pacifier to suppress Katie's screams. And believe me, she will want to scream... since Tom frowns upon pain-killers, and has discouraged Katie from having any on the day of her delivery.

Additionally, six-foot note cards were made and will be strategically placed so that Katie could see them during labor. One reads:“Be silent and make all physical movements slow and understandable."

Damn. I wonder what Liz's doula would say...

Yes, Katie, don't dare make any sounds during your delivery, or the aliens will come down and take your baby. For real.

The religious right to hate

Ruth Malhotra says her Christian faith compels her to speak out against homosexuality. But the Georgia Institute of Technology, where she's a senior, bans speech that puts down others because of their sexual orientation. So she's suing the school for its "infringement" on her right to religious expression.

A growing campaign has begun to force public institutions to eliminate policies protecting gays and lesbians from harassment. The religious right aims to overturn a broad range of common tolerance programs: diversity training that promotes acceptance of gays and lesbians, speech codes that ban harsh words against homosexuality, anti-discrimination policies.

Ruth, what happen to love thy neighbor? You know, you're going to burn in hell for this. You can't avoid judgment day...

This is dedicated to The Red Ant

... and all the baby crocodiles that have lived another day without a racoon eating them alive.

Yes, folks, this is a warning from The Red Ant not to watch The Discovery Channel when you are high or emotionally unstable...

Universal health care

Massachusetts is set to become the first state to set up a system of virtually compulsory health insurance in the only major industrial nation not to have universal care.

New legislation requires that all of the state's population of about 6.3 million people have medical insurance by July 1, 2007.

First legalizing gay marriages, now providing health care for all... Massachusetts is so amazing. Other retrograde states, like South Dakota, can go to hell. Word.

Racist shoes

Addidas has recently released a new pair of sneakers that feature a stereotypical caricature with slanted eyes, buck teeth and bowl cut with "Fong" written on it's heel. It is part of their "Yellow" series.

Too bad I'm desensitized to all this racist shit, otherwise I would sue Addidas for intentional infliction of emotion distress. But instead, I'll just sue them under the Right of Publicity doctrine for appropriating my brother's likeness and identity for profit.


But if you don't practice law, I recommend emailing or calling Addidas at their customer service number 1-800-448-1796. That's right, bitch them out... oh, and by the way, do me a favor and ask if they would personalize the shoe with "Yee" instead of "Fong"...

Globalization at its finest

Surprisingly, I'm digging the corn rows.

Bye Bye!

Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, one of the most powerful members of Congress, is now ready to call it quits in the face of mounting legal problems and a tough reelection campaign.

Smell ya later, dude!

Welcome Nikhil

I'm Nikhil Jai Panzarella, Bitch!

In Hot Mamma's own words:

The waiting is finally over!!!

After two false labors, poorly choreographed plane trips, Liz's stomach flu, and the death of Giano's car...Nikhil Jai Panzarella made his much anticipated grand entrance into the world on March 29th 2006 (one day past the due date) at 11:30 AM weighing in at 7 lbs 1.6oz, 19.5 inches long. All three of us have been recovering ever since. Given our different ethnic backgrounds (news to us), the question on everyone's mind has congruently been..."What does he look like !?!?" Check him out for yourselves, we think he is amazing and are proud to share him with the world.

Thank you for all of your phone calls, support, and love during the past 9 months!
Liz, Giano, and Nikhil Panzarella

Look what we found!

Homeboy is making it big. Here's an Apple I-Tunes ad of him looking pretty bad-ass.

BF discovered the ad on the Pandora website, which is one of my most frequented music websites at the moment. Based on the Music Genome Project, it finds new music for you based on your current favorites. You type in an artist or band, and the system will quickly and continuously find new music for you that is similar to your original preference.

You can build a favorites library and create music stations based on a particular genre. It's great and so useful, especially for people like me who love music but don't like to use much energy to find new music. Pandora is god-sent.

Joe Mak in Chicago!

Joe Mak, Street Magician is debuting at the 11th Annual Chicago Asian American Film Festival today, as I type actually. It started at 5:15 pm midwestern time. I am so extremely bummed that I am not there right now, but I didn't have the time nor funds to go home. Sniffle. Still, I am very excited and hope the Chi-town folks find it funny.

Here's a descirption of our short from FAAIM's program booklet:

Joe Mak: Street Magician
Rebecca Yee | 2005 | 9 min | video | USA
David Blaine ain’t got nothing on “the Mak.” Joe’s magic defies all sense of logic and purpose, as his street performance amazes mostly himself. Catch the magic of Joe Mak!

Congratulations to the JMSM cast and crew!

All this talk about Hasidics...

reminds me of this Israeli movie I saw late last year:

Ushpizin is a beautiful story about an Orthodox Jewish couple, and how their faiths are tested as a pair of unexpected, and non-religious, guests visit during Passover. The story begins with the couple plagued with financial woes, while the guests arrive as fugitives of the law. There are many twists and turns, and I remember feeling a roller coaster of emotions that include anxiety, joy, sadness, relief and redemption. I love movies that fuck with my emotions. But, more importantly, I felt and trusted their faith, even though I am faithless. It is a really wonderful movie and I recommend seeing it. It's out on DVD this month.